Don’t have expectations.
That’s what they tell us before we leave for the Race. Throw your expectations out the window because you will be disappointed. That’s so much easier said than done… especially if you’re anything like me. I’m a day dreamer. I have my head in the clouds most of the time. I’ve learned to accept that about myself. I build up expectations in my mind no matter how hard I try to tell myself not to.
Month one certainly wasn’t what I expected for India. Not that that’s a bad thing! I loved my time in India and I’m going to miss the amazing friends I’ve made. When I thought of India I had anticipated Hindu Temples everywhere, women dressed in extravagant saris, crowded streets, maybe some monkeys running around…you know…INDIA! When I arrived in Manipur, India that is not what I saw. The people looked completely different; the food wasn’t what I thought it would be (even though it was awesome!), I was too far from the Taj Mahal so I wasn’t able to visit, basically any ideas that were in my head for India went out the window within two minutes of arriving in Manipur.
Ministry last month consisted of a lot of construction work, running Vacation Bible Schools, and working with mobile health clinics. It was a bit of a challenge at first to see how the Lord could really USE me in these areas but, as always…there was a lesson to learn. I remember specifically one day my team was assigned to pour cement and help build a wall….HA!
You should’ve seen the look on the constructions worker’s faces when they saw that they were sent a group of six girls to pour cement for the day! Passing buckets of heavy cement can get pretty boring…so I eventually pulled out my speaker and started to play some dance music. If I have to pour cement all day I might as well have some fun! By the end of the day the whole crew was dancing and they asked if we were coming back the next day! Maybe I’m not the best construction worker but, I sure do know how to bring Daddy’s Joy in a dreary atmosphere. And maybe pouring cement to build a wall doesn’t seem like super spiritual missionary work but, I was able to carry joy into a heavy work day!
I’m a carrier of His Presence and wherever I go I have the opportunity to shine His light. I have the opportunity to spread His joy and His peace. That in itself is my mission.
What’s the point of having expectations if they’re only going to disappoint you? Being disappointed sucks, I’ve experienced so much disappointment in the past few years of my life and I’d rather not have anymore. Learning how to surrender my expectations hasn’t been easy. It’s a lesson the Lord has been trying to teach me for quite some time now….TO TRUST HIM! Here I am…half way around the world and I STILL struggle in this area.
Fun fact about me….I LOVE surprises…there’s nothing like a good surprise! But in order to be surprised you can’t always know what’s going on. Jesus knows I love surprises…He created me…yet I’m always trying to walk two steps in front of Him. That’s where the disappointment comes in. It’s time to let go and trust that my Daddy only has His best for me. I’ve been learning to take one day at a time. I’m learning to stay present where I am, spiritually and emotionally. Trust can be such a hard lesson to learn. We are so quick to tell God he’s not moving fast enough or that He’s not big enough to help us in our current situations. I don’t want to be self-sufficient. Relying on my own strength isn’t an option.
In these moments I cling to this verse:
Isaiah 49:23… those who wait for me shall not be put to shame.
I know that my Daddy is not setting me up for failure or disappointment. He’s only setting me up for success. Resting and trusting in His perfect arms is the safest place to be.
