Back to It…..
Blogging that is!
Sorry I have been MIA for a few weeks. Life has been so busy and the most trying few months I have ever endured spiritually. Honestly there were so many times I WANTED to blog but for some reason just never got around to it. Like blogging, I have noticed other things in my life seemingly start to take a back seat. I have to apologize for my laziness and my lack of keeping my very supportive readers “In the loop”
THUS…..
In the Loop ….Begins
November:
Fundraising-
November was an interesting month, I did 2 fundraisers. One of witch was VERY successful and the other not so much. On the 11th of every month we as a squad participate in a huge fundraiser called -Give $11 on 11- 3 people contributed to this fundraiser on my behalf. 2 of witch were MY OWN SQUAD MATES! To me this means more than you can imagine! (Thanks Guys). Then, toward the end of the month We put on a huge benefit at my church. There was about 75 people who came! Chilli dinner ran out, Gifts and prizes were given, Trivia game played, and to top off the night we had a HUGE AUCTION! I raised about 1,300.00 over all. what a success! I feel so blessed by my friends and family who helped pull this off! Thank you!
Personal-
Thanksgiving was every calm and relaxed. My family took in two new Foster girls, so along with Friends or the family and their children and my family of 7 and the new girls it made for A LOT of fun. family. time! My family has a tradition of making lots of snacks Previous to the traditional turkey dinner like; Stuffed mushrooms, cheese/crackers, Veggies and dip, chips and dip, ect… Then we eat our BIG Turkey dinner later in the evening. Well when it came time for That delicious turkey we found that it wasn’t edible!!!!! Something was so very wrong.. Meat was like rubber and the darn bird smelled rotten.. Needles to say we had a turkey-less Thanks giving dinner this year..
BUMMER
Over all it was a Great Holiday spent with incredible friends!
December:
This month I have officially entered Transition period. Its been hard to focus and hard to stay present. I have all kinds of emotions. all kinds of fears and what if’s running through my head. Its the fantasy of a “New Life” becoming reality…. I never realized how much it would scare me to ACTUALLY… FOR REALS abandon my life as I know it, and start living life blindly with a dream that seems unattainable to everyone else in the world. Even to me at times. Recently I was having a conversation with A friend who is going through a really hard time. Through our conversation I learned that I REALLY like to be IN CONTROL…
Of everything, really. I like to Know what I’m doing, where I’m going, and how the heck I’m getting there.
NEWS FLASH
The world race don’t work that way. Neither does God. Christ wants us to be so vulnerable to Him that it scares us. Hence: why God is always…. And i mean ALWAYS pushing us out of our comfort zone. If I was always in control of everything, if I always called the shots… If i always stayed comfortable… what what I need God for? What lessons would be the one’s worth learning? He is always offering to wright my story, and A lot of the time I’m happy to hand over that pen with the notion he will “read my mind” and life will play out just as i imagined it. But quickly I learn that Jesus had a plan of his own, and with out a second thought ill snatch that pen back quicker than lightning saying; Ya didn’t tell me it would happen like That. Often times I don’t even give the Lord the Chance to finish the story the way He wants… I’m quickly realizing that the choice I made 9 Months ago, To go on the World Race is becoming so real its getting scary… and I find my self fighting the urge to take the pen and question my faith in Gods plan for me.
Then i remember something a women spoke to me years ago.. she said “Don’t you dare leave before you receive the blessing God has for you, you would be a fool not to wait till He finishes the story.
You see friends, When we have the urge to give up on Gods plan.. and desire to take things into our fleshly hands… That’s when the Devil comes like a thief. That’s when you begin to veer away from the blessing God is about to wright into action..
Though He doesn’t give me a play by play he His word assures me that I can trust him. I’m In the posses of recklessly abandoning everything and running after this seemingly unattainable dream. All my fears and doubts are weighing heavy on me. My heart is full and happy… but in the same breath, so sad and so tired. Confusion and frustration often find me and not to mention thoughts of anxiety and nervousness take over.
BUT…
I serve a BIG HUGE FANTASTIC GOD
He is the author of Life, He holds the pen. He wants nothing more than to bless me beyond my wildest dreams. SO WHAT if it seems unattainable. Impossible. even ridiculous.
My God has UNATTAINABLE. IMPOSSIBLE. AND RIDICULOUS all in the first 5 letters of his name!
SO TAKE THAT!
Just a little insight on what goes on in this mind of mine. Thanks for subscribing.
