Over the past 4 years i have learned 2 very hard lessons. One I have learned and got down to a tee, The other is a work in progress. These things I think every missionary or aspiring missionary will have to learn at some point in there walk.
~Love Hard then Let Go
If you are a normal human being, and when I say normal I mean LIVING… you strive for some sort of human to human relationship. Your always looking to make connections with people. You will often find yourself relating to people in mysterious ways that will ultimately cause you to allow yourself to form a deeper bond with that person based on personal experiences, trust ect. I have found myself to be the kind of person girl who isn't really looking for a surface friendship. You know, the kind of friend you make but really don't know much about. Yeah, I don't have those. You could say I have a good solid group of ggirlfriend's that I would consider my best friends. Some I'm closer to than others but in a roundabout way I don't think there is one who I would feel uncomfortable to ask for help financially or to ask for prayer about a private or intimate thing. These are friends who are prayer warriors and victory reachers, and they never fail to point me right back to the cross every time. The average person would find it Difficult to leave there main support system. Now, don't get me wrong most Americans do leave the nest and spread there wings at some point in there lives. Maybe once or even twice, I'd even go as far as three times. Moving, new school, new life, new everything… The average missionary does that every year if not more.
With Visa travel, In and Out of country travel, with language school and teaching school, ministry opportunities, Furlo as well as the hassle with culture shock while trying to create a safe and comfortable environment for your family, Life is more on the CRAY CRAY side of things!
I believe Missionaries are cut from a particular cloth, one that offers the ability to deal with a quick change and crazy things happening all that time.. you will often hear a missionaries conversation happening somewhat like this, "Oh… why is (insert name here) not at school today? well, she found out last night her visa expired today so she flew to Singapore this morning to get it renewed… and a common response would be, OH… WELL…. hopefully we will see her tomorrow". I find it Ironic how its so easy to be so nonchalant about a fellow missionary possibly not making it back into the country.. But it happens ALL the time. This brings me to another point. Making friends. Because we are human and strive for that deep relationship with a fellow Human/believer we look for it where ever we go. even in the Chaos of a missionaries life. I also feel like Missionaries have some supernatural power to let go of those friendships with complete ease. When life changes it is so drastic that there is no room for hurt feelings or I'll miss you parties. It's just apart of the life style and we all have to learn how to Love Hard for as long as we can then Let Go. A lesson ill never forget!
~Da Money aint There
Now this is my work in progress lesson. I often Laugh at myself because of how i go back and forth with this. One minute ill be all about the struggle of waiting… knowing God will bless me and trusting that he will put the funds together needed for this trip and then there are other moments that I cringe and let my self get so frustrated with the fact that I CAN NOT CONTROL OTHER PEOPLES POCKET BOOK! Boy do I got a tough lesson to learn eh? The great thing is that I know God is faithful and he will give me the tools I need to learn how to deal, in times of need. A girlfriend of mine told me something tonight that really shot it into perspective for me. She said: God is moving His funds from one place to the next all you have to do is ask for it to be moved. Maybe that's the whole problem, I'm to afraid to ask for a supporter to give specifically. Is it that I'm afraid or is it that I don't trust the Lord enough, or maybe its the rejection I'm convinced ill get. Possibly a little of all three.. Just another thing a missionary must learn.
