A declaration: “No fear can hinder now the Love that made a way”
This will just be Part 1 of Training Camp.
Training Camp: Our squad, coming from all corners of the country, met in Georgia for a week of training.
My stomach lurched several times before this week came to pass. I knew it was going to push the edges of my comfort zone, expose my fears, and put me in the center of preparation for The World Race, making it real. Scary, exciting, new…
Of course, when you prepare to leave for 11 months to travel all over the world with a squad of people you’ve never met, there is a lot to learn and do. I anticipated presentations, team building activities, logistical meetings, and a few twists and turns, for good measure.
While there were plenty of those things, including bucket showers, eating meals with our hands, and shivering under the stars with a squad mate, in my mental prep for Training Camp, I had totally missed “it”. “It” being the very thing that prepares one to go on a mission like this. “It” being the unearthing of deep dark places that subconsciously clog the pipeline between us and our Maker. “It” being the emptying of oneself to be completely and utterly filled by Him.
See, I understood the concept that it’s not about what we do but rather what God does through us as we make ourselves available to be used as “his hands and feet”. But what I didn’t realize what that in order to do that, a way has to be made. That way is love. His love. His beautiful, forgiving, radiant, overwhelming love.
A love that only needs to be accepted, not earned. A love that I wasn’t fully accessing because my pipeline was clogged. The pipeline was clogged with shame and false justifications I was holding on to deep down. With words left unsaid. With an image of myself that I just couldn’t shake.
The very first page of my notebook of session notes/journal entries from training camp is filled with my sloppy, cursive handwriting all over except on one line towards the bottom of the page, in an uncluttered space, where I simply wrote, “you are mine.”, with each word clearly printed and underlined.
Several sessions later, I had a breakdown. The best kind of breakdown- an encounter. Where tears flow and walls crumble. Where you come face to face with your Creator and get knocked off your feet and lavished in Love and truth about who you are to Him.
The encounter…the love…. The love that comes in a vision of Jesus standing outside the place where you bore so much hurt and pain. Seeing him out of the window, bounding from that place before the pain occurred and sprinting to Him. Sprinting to Him and leaping into His arms. Into the embrace that says, “Now you’re home, precious girl. Now you’re in your Lover’s arms.” The only love that can undo what we’ve done and make it new, transform it into something beautiful to be used for His glory.
After the session, I was making my way down to the outdoor space where we ate lunch. I was walking alone, processing. One of my squad mates was calling out for someone. “Lisa? Lisa?” (We didn’t all know each other well at that point). I turned around and acknowledged her and she handed me a piece of folded paper with a handwritten note. She said, this isn’t from me but the person who gave it to me said it wasn’t from them either…I unfolded the four folds to read this:
“Abba father says, ‘You are beautiful and enough. You are not the mistakes of your past. You are mine.’”
You are mine. There it was again, days later… He is so good.
As I continue to process everything from this past week, I found myself in Isaiah. On July 15th, I highlighted the below passage:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze… …Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you.” Isaiah 43: 1-4 (excerpts)
Sweet, powerful words.
“Summoned by name”. But my mistakes, God!
“You are mine.” But I’m still scared…
“I will be with you”. But I’m not ready or good enough yet!
“You are precious and honored in my sight” But how can I be sure of all of this?
“Because I love you”
Wow!
I had fears of being ready for the Race before Training Camp. I knew Camp would help but I didn’t realize how much so and in the ways that it did. Of course, in just one entry, I can’t capture all that was experienced or fit in all the highlights (I know my Team now, guys!!!) so I will follow up with another update soon but for now, I can declare fearlessness because of His Love and because I am His.
Resting in the love of my Heavenly daddy and getting more excited to be a vessel for His love to the nations.
As always, thanks for hanging with me through this.
Hug for you,
Lisa
