Warning:
This blog is not clear concise thoughts on God and how He is moving in this
place. This blog is raw, honest, and broken. This is a true look at the
brokenness that surrounds us here in Vietnam. These thoughts are straight from
my journal.
Lord
I am broken tonight. There are so many things in this world that I just don’t
understand. I returned to the
orphanage for abandoned children (link to blog).
As I held these precious babies and cradled them in my arms, I fell in love. I
can’t imagine how any 
mother or father could look into the faces of these
precious kids and just walk away. It is beyond my comprehension! Father it
breaks my heart to see them abandoned, crying in their cribs, and in need of a
loving family who can give them all of the attention and care they require and
deserve. Lord I just don’t understand why this happens! Why are such beautiful
children left unloved? How can someone look into Fu or Tai’s big brown eyes and
not be instantly in love? How can you hear Gai’s precious laugh and then leave
him? How can you feel Quan’s tiny hand grip your finger and not want to care
for him? Lord my heart breaks for these children! I see so many promises in
Your Word concerning them:
·
“Though
my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.” – Psalm
27:10
·
“A
father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling.
God sets the lonely 
in families…” – Psalm 68:5-6a
·
“‘I
will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters,’ says the Lord
Almighty.” – 2 Corinthians 6:18
Lord I know You are faithful to Your Word so I know these
promises are true. But as I hear their cries, hold their frail bodies in my
embrace, and look into their eyes, I see no end to the brokenness in their
lives. I see no future for them other than moving from crib to crib from room
to room within this building living out their lives among the forgotten and the
outcasts.
I sit in a darkened stairwell praying with tears just
streaming down my face. I discovered tonight that the price for a
woman’s
dignity, her self-worth, and her innocence is $1.25. The same price I paid for
a cup of coffee in a café around the corner is the price that women are being
sold for in this hotel. As our prayers are being lifted to You, I hear the
repetitive slaps of whips coming from the room at the end of the hall and I see
doors constantly opening and shutting as new “couples” enter. I can’t stop the
tears. They flow faster and faster with each crack of the whip, with each
locking of the door, with each woman exiting looking emptier than before. Lord
I know that You said, “[Your]
light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.” – John 1:5 But Lord where is Your light in
this place tonight? All I see is darkness. Where are You in this place Father?
Where is hope for these women? Where is an end to this industry?
Lord
I want to hold fast to Your promises. I want to believe the truth of Your
goodness and faithfulness, but tonight it’s hard to see past the darkness and
brokenness. Tonight Your promises don’t feel true. Lord I thank You that You
are God and You are Truth above my feelings. So with tears in my eyes and
heaviness pressing down on my heart, I will continue to proclaim Your truth
because there is power in truth even when I it doesn’t feel true. Lord I do
believe- help me overcome my unbeli
