I am not saying that talking is wrong; I am very thankful for and admire those that have the ability to put words together easily. For so long, I actually envied those that could speak without hesitation and I was frustrated that I was so different, that it took me so long to think of things to say and that so many times I was left frozen in fear because I couldn’t answer somebody’s question right away. There were times when I felt inferior and socially awkward because I was so quiet and questioned why I was unable to be like others.
It wasn’t until I was a young adult that I really started to become comfortable with my quiet nature. I began to understand that it was the way God made me and it wasn’t wrong or an inability. There was purpose in it. I began to like the “awkward silence” as people call it and no longer felt the obligation to fill it with words just so it wasn’t “awkward.” The silence actually wasn’t awkward for me; it became something deeper to me. It was a time to listen, to be observant, and to think.
And even now, on the World Race, I have learned even more about what can happen in the silence; God is in the silence. I am aware now that it is a gift from God and it is not something I have to overcome or change altogether; it is something that God is revealing a depth of wonder in. That is not to say that there aren’t struggles in it like any gift where it can be taken to an extreme and become an overcompensation for something; there is a balance to using a gift which only happens when we give it up to God and see what His intentions are in it. This has become a personal realization for me lately and I have never been so encouraged and comfortable in the way the Lord has made me than now when He is fully allowed to work in it without my insecurities getting in the way (an unending process that the Lord has carefully orchestrated and still orchestrates with his careful precision).
In this realization, I have discovered that silence isn’t a void or a time when there is nothing as we might think. There is a world of depth and wonder that God wants to open up to us. The following are just some of the values and uses God has shown me for the silence:
Listening
Observing
Being still with the Lord
Being a peaceful presence for someone
Gaining wisdom
Admiring beauty even in things that we may not think have beauty right away
Seeing details that seem hidden at first
Prayer
Acts of love and service
Recognizing needs
Experiencing grief, joy, peace
Being in the moment
Contemplating and learning from the past
Being inspired for the future
Gaining focus
Letting God use me to make Himself known in a place where the words cannot be spoken
I am looking forward to exploring the silence even more and stepping into the purpose that the Lord has for it in my life and in His kingdom . . . and even more exciting for me is to learn more of how it reflects part of the nature of God. I know God is a strong and mighty God that makes His presence known in loud, profound ways but I am also realizing that He is a quiet God that wants to be a still, peaceful presence as His word says in Psalm 23:2-3, “He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.” I long to know more of this nature of our God to experience more of Him and to reflect more of Him and give Him glory in the way He created me in His image as He has created us all with different gifts that reflect His nature. If you think of other verses that teach us of this, please share with me below because I am eager to grow!
