Since the beginning of my Christian experience I’ve been learning about finding my identity in Christ. Stepping into the World Race hasn’t been any different. We’ve been learning how to be followers of Christ, discipleship, or waking up to our true identity in Him. Before leaving on the Race, our small group at church in Massachusetts did a book study on “Just Like Jesus,” by Max Lucado. Much of what we are taught is how to be more like Jesus.
Well, I guess I’m recognizing how hard that truly is. Not because I’m not perfect (because every person can fit that mold), but because I’m a woman. I understand that the identity I’m trying to wake up to is that of God. However, I struggle with trying to be like, the fully-God-fully-man, Jesus. The fact of the matter is that when God came to earth, He came as a man. He chose to have a physical experience as a man, not a woman.
When I read through the story of Jesus’ life, I ask myself, how do I become more like Him. Is it really the
Him part I’m trying to be more like? Or is it the attributes of Christ, or more generally, of God that I am truly trying to imitate?
I asked Scott the other day what his reaction would have been if I, as a woman, would have gone to the temple, knocked over tables, and called the people “you brood of vipers.” How would that look? Would it look like a woman trying to take control, to make a bunch of other people follow her lead (which is precisely the curse women have since the apple incident back in Genesis)? Would it look like the gentle femininity or life giving nurturing that God gave as giftings to women?
I guess I’m a little passionate about waking up to my identity as a woman in Christ. That God made man and women, He made them different, and He did it for a reason. He never intended for them to try to be the same. He made them with different abilities, strengths, and gifts. And when Adam and Eve sinned, those gifts were hidden by lies and sin. Man and woman found themselves struggling to grasp that identity again. They lost it after they ate of the fruit, and since then every person who ever lived is still trying to find that identity.
Man was made to come through, and in the garden he failed. Adam didn’t stop Eve, he just watched as Eve was deceived and ate. And then, he gave in, he became passive, and ate of it himself. And then, later, when talking to God, he shifted all the blame onto the precious gift God had given him. It was her fault, not mine, Adam said. And men around the world have struggled with passivity (or aggressiveness, which is at the other spectrum… strength gone wrong) ever since.
And then in the case of Eve, she believed the lies. She believed that God wasn’t a good God, who only wanted the best for her. She believed that god was holding back on her, and so she took matters into her own hands. She took that fruit and ate, thinking that she had to because who else would do it if she didn’t? And so women face the issues of striving and needing to have control. It’s not a restful state, and it doesn’t embody beauty (as God created woman as the symbol of beauty).
So, how do I wake up to my identity in Christ? Well, something that gets tossed around a lot on this Race is the idea that we’re all spiritual beings having a temporary physical experience. The tendency may be to over spiritualize finding that identity. There is a purpose in the bodies we’ve been placed in, the different hormones that race through our bodies, the different thought processes that make us who we are. God made us man and woman separately for a reason, and I can’t just believe that the only reason is for procreation. So, my only rational, logical answer to beginning to wake up to that identity is to figure out who I am as a woman.
And as you can see by what I’ve written above, I’ve thought a long time about who God made me as a woman. I’ve read much on this topic, I’ve gone through a lot of inner healing, and desire for other women to wake up to that feminine identity. How can a woman learn her feminine identity from the man of Christ? That’s what I’m trying to figure out at this point. All I can deduce is that Jesus walked in His identity not just as God, but as man. And if I can look at that example of a true man, than I would want to walk in pure womanhood. There are many divine attributes of Jesus that I can surely grasp onto as I continue to seek and wake up to that identity.
I was truly thankful for having four women at our last debrief. We began to have teaching and training done from a feminine point of view. We learned from women who have found their identity after having gone through the same steps I’m talking about. Don’t get me wrong, I like hearing from our four male leaders, but they can only speak and train and impart as a man. But to have the anointing of a woman over another woman is something most important to that identity in Christ. I know it sounds funny that we could find our identity in Christ in this fashion, but femininity begets femininity. Once we accept and walk in who we were created to be as women we can then continue that walk into deeper levels of discipleship (a cyclical journey into becoming alive in Christ).
