Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
These verses has been swirling around in my mind for the last six weeks. This time period of 6 weeks between training camp and launch has been such an awkward but necessary season in this process of the world race. I've been participating in a very delicate dance of balancing work, friends, family, teammates, God and preparing spiritually and physically. I tried to do everything, spend time with everyone but felt like I wasn't making anyone happy…. including myself. In the middle of this in between time, I finally broke. I felt like everyone was unhappy with me and I was too busy or tried to even try to change things. Yet in this brokenness the Lord met me. He gave me people who listened to my frustrations and pain. People, who listened and encouraged me, telling me that they saw what I was trying to do, how I was walking this fine lines between two completely different worlds. We were able to be open and honest with one another and explain how we truly feel.
This season was hard. It was emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically taxing and there were many times that I wished that launch would come sooner rather than later. Yet as I sit in my house on my last night at home, reflecting on this past season, I realize how important and valuable this time has been. It has been a time to be open with my family, an opportunity to show them how I really felt about going on the race and the responsibilities that I willing took on. They were able to see a side of me that I rarely show and I was able to process through emotions that I never admitted to myself that I had. Though I am terrible sad to leave home, my family and friends, I feel more prepared than ever. The Lord used this time to mold me and prepare me for this race as well as provide an opportunity for my family and I to get a little closer before I leave on this crazy adventure.
