This month has not been easy, let me rephrase that, this month has been challenging, tiring, overwhelming, confusing, emotional, frustrating and all around exhausting.
Both of my pairs of pants have ripped in the last 3 weeks,
my shoes have a hole in the bottom
most of my underwear got stolen yesterday (weird but it happened)
family life back home is really hard right now
Its month 8 and I'm tried
I'm not sleeping alot
living in community is hard
we are moving around every weekend.
Life has been throwing me alot of curve balls, trying to bring me down, trying to discourage me, trying to distract me from why I am here and making me want to be home, where life is comfortable. Where I can eat what I want, sleep as long as I want and just forget the hard things.
Yet through this hardship God has reminded me that he is alway with us.
James 1: 2-4 says: Count it all joy my brothers, WHEN you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness And let steadfastness have its full effect that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
Also 2 Corinthians 4: 8-10 says: We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed but not driven to despair. We are hunted down but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.
Through the hardship, through the trials, God is faithful, he is with us and will never forsake us and as one of my teammates said last night, WE WILL MAKE IT. God set me on this journey, knowing I would hit this place, knowing I would face these trials but he also knew how these challenges would help me grow, help me become more of the person I want to be. So instead of sitting and feeling sorry for myself, I chose to fight. I WILL choose joy everyday. I WILL choose to walk through my grief and sorrow to experience healing and forgiveness. I WILL love my team and squadmates well even when it gets hard. I WILL continue to press in to what God has for me. I WILL let others pour into me. I WILL be vulnerable and open, exposing my wounds and allowing healing to take place. This is my journey and I choose to keep fighting, keep loving, keep crying and keep working towards the end goal.
I WILL fight the good fight, I WILL finish the race, I WILL keep the faith.
Thank you all for your prayers and encouragements. I appreciate your love so much.
PS: Grandmother and Grammy, dont worry about me. I am doing okay and will make it. Though this is a very sad time, God is faithful and will provide for all me needs. I love you both so much.
