Adventures WorldRace SethBarnes Sponsorship Giving

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I sat down earlier this week, completely intent on finishing my support letter. I have to tell you, that didn't happen. In fact, what did happen was a whole lot of this…
Type. 
Delete. 
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Delete. 
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And, so on and so forth. 
 
The entire experience was pretty frustrating. Writing has never been a difficult thing for me. It's a big part of my job and I love doing it. So, why couldn't I sit down and write about something so incredible and exciting as the World Race?

Since no progress was being made, I got up and wondered around my apartment, busying myself with laundry and playing with Izzie (my dog). All the while, I kept thinking about an eighth grade science project, which, seemingly had nothing to do with the problem at hand. 

God uses men who are weak and feeble enough to lean on him.
– Hudson Taylor

 

You see, I did a science project experiment involving plants. I planted seeds in three different pots, fertilizing two of them with different substances to see which would yield a thriving plant. 

The first pot was my "control group," meaning that the seeds were planted in regular soil to serve as a baseline. The second pot contained Miracle Grow and the third was fertilized with manure (courtesy of our horses).

My hypothesis was simple. I stated that the flower pot containing Miracle Grow fertilizer would yield the finest plant. How could it not? I'd seen the commercials–the ones boasting luscious gardens and happy elderly couples wearing awesome gardening hats, who basked in the beauty of their prized flower beds and pristine lawns. Advertising doesn't lie (That was sarcasm. It totally does.). 

My mom asked me to put the pots in the greenhouse because, well, the manure stunk and she preferred that it not be in the house. A few weeks passed and I carefully monitored the progress of the plants. To my surprise, the plant nourished with Miracle Grow barely grew at all, as did the plant grown in normal soil. However, the seeds planted in the horse manure grew into a flourishing and beautiful flower–far more vibrant and healthy than the other two. 

 

 
When He comes to me, am I prepared for Him to drag every wrong thing I have ever done into the light? That is exactly where He comes. Wherever I know I am unclean is where He will put His feet and stand. – Oswald Chambers 
 

So why am I telling you all of this? Why am I rehashing the finer points of an 8th grade science experiment? That was my question too, as God kept bringing this seemingly insignificant school project to mind, since failing to finish my support letter. So, finally, I asked the question that has been on my heart, "Lord, why are we talking about this?"

Here's the answer He gave: "You're that flower in manure." (Flattering, I know.)

Now that I have you scratching your head (I did a lot of that too), I'll explain. You see, I don't feel like a missionary and it's something I've been struggling with since I signed on for the World Race. In fact, when people refer to me as such, I, quite honestly, cringe. Why? Because, I feel like an imposter, a poser, a fake and a phony.

I always imagined that missionaries have it all together–no struggles, no garbage and NO CRAP. They are supposed to be the "Miracle Grow Christians"–those nurtured with perfectly engineered circumstances, growing them into perfectly prepared preachers of the gospel. 

Yet, here I am, 8 months from embarking on a year long missions trip, and I can't ignore that pang of discomfort when referred to as a "future missionary," because I am surrounded by "manure." I've messed up, done stupid, sinful things, and I can't help but believe that I am completely unworthy of the task the Lord has set before me. I keep waiting for God to change His mind and tell me that He doesn't want me to go on this trip after all–that He has a more qualified person in mind.

But, that hasn't happened. Instead, He keeps bringing me back to the memory of a little flower fertilized by manure.

I'll admit that it took me a while to really grasp what God was getting at (I'm slow and He's patient). And, here's what He's teaching me: though my life has some "crap," and though I'm far from qualified, He can use the filth if I will only let Him. You see, that little flower in the horse manure was beautiful, because it not only grew out of the crap, but thrived because of it. And so, the Lord gently reminds me He is our redeemer–that the shameful, sinful episodes in my life cannot only be overcome, but remembered as the lovely moments in my testimony, where Jesus and his love shine through. 

 

He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” – Revelations 21:5 

 
Talk about a lesson in humility! The truth is that I am unworthy. I am unqualified, unfit and utterly insufficient. The only good in me comes from Him. I have nothing to bring to the table, but flaws and failures and that's okay. Because, though my pride would rather that I come equipped with a pristine past, my God is one who specializes in redeeming a polluted one, removing all sin and shame in exchange for His purpose and glory. 

 

 Lord,
Thank you for being a God that relishes in making old things new,
exchanging my sins for sanctification, my debt for redemption. Thank you
for taking the worst moments in my life and making them the finest elements of my
testimony. So, though I am a flower covered in manure, I am thriving
by Your grace, love and mercy. I couldn't ask for anything more.