During the month of April, I took on a challenge to write four blog posts. I made a list of several topics I could discuss but I kept coming back to the same one: a heart of worship.
This will be part one of four in my April blog series on a heart of worship.
4 years ago, I was at a low point in my walk with God. I had allowed myself to grip to anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, shame and hurt. Holding on to all of that left me to feel intense isolation and sadness.
I started going to Every Nation Campus at Florida State because I knew the cure for my pain was Jesus. I was invited to go to their fall retreat, and I remember wanting to get out of it so badly that I made a million excuses as to why I shouldn’t go. However, I felt my soul stirring and knew that if I did not go I would miss out on something big.
During the first night of worship I met face to face with my creator. In that moment everything I had been carrying was lifted, and the scales covering my eyes fell off. I could finally see that God had not forsaken me, and found comfort knowing that he never will.
God made a promise to me that night that I would be healed from the inside out through music. Over the course of a year I had enough worship music to make an album. Each song was a reflection of the goodness and faithfulness of my Father. My heart longed to feel the presence of God which brought me to a state of total surrender. I did not want to hold on to my pain. I did not want to continue to do the same things over and over again. I wanted freedom, and where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom.
I made the choice to surrender it all to Jesus and experienced God’s love on a very deep level. I truly felt restored and free from the weight of my past mistakes and failures. As I sat down at my piano music poured out of my soul in an unexplainable way. Peace overtook me and I was overwhelmed by the love that God has for me. Ten minutes was all it took for God to sing this love song over me:
I will make it easy for you, you don’t have to fret
I will be there right beside you, darling just rest
I am here for you, I am here for you
Im totally 100% in love with you
I will never let you loose
I’ll never let you fall
I’ll never leave your side, I paid it all for you
you are my prize, you are my treasure
God met me face to face and fulfilled his promise to me. He continuously renews my spirit when I worship Him. To know that God will make it easy for me and that he carries the weight of the world on his shoulder is such a liberating thing to be aware of. His love for me never fails, his faithfulness endures forever.
As I prepare for The World Race, I sometimes catch myself feeling overwhelmed with emotion. The Holy Spirit nudges me and reminds me of everything I have overcome through Christ. Just as the lyrics say in the song above, He will never let me fall, and He will never leave my side.
The enemy will try to drive you away from experiencing the fullness and richness of God, but I encourage you to continuously acknowledge who you truly are. You are a child of God, the same power that rose Jesus from the dead is the same power that you have access to. I urge you to let go of the thing(s) that are stopping you from finding peace in Christ. Explore different ways that you can engage with the Holy Spirit and stay alert to combat the distractions the enemy may throw at you. Surrender your pain to God and open your heart to worship the one who knows you best. He is waiting with arms open wide to hear from you, he wants to spend time with you, and he wants you to experience his undeniable and reckless love.
“The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
“…Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the Lord your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior;…”Isaiah 43:1-3
When I said, “My foot is going out from under me,” Your loving-kindness held me up, O Lord. When my worry is great within me, Your comfort brings joy to my soul. Psalm 94:18-19
“My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory; The rock of my strength, And my refuge, is in God. Trust in Him at all times, you people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.“ Psalm 62: 5-8
