That moment that you realize that you could actually take a child home and be their mother is a scary thing. The bus drove up to the orphanage after winding through the cinderblock walls of the village. As we got off the bus the children lying motionless on the ground of the gazebo caught my eye. It was clear that they were sick and the Haitian heat was taking a toll on them. The moment came when it was time for us to play with the kids who were wandering around half-clothed and in need of joy. I am not one who goes for the kid who is running around with a huge smile on their face, I seek out the one on the edges. The child who needs to know that they are loved and seen, even when it would be easy to overlook them.
I sat down on the ground under the gazebo’s shade and a little girl with braids and a pink shirt came over to sit in my lap. I realized right away that she was one of the girls who weren’t feeling well earlier, but her need for love outweighed her desire to lie on the mattress and sleep. For 40 minutes she just sat in my lap and held my hand. Besides asking her name no other words were exchanged. I let her simply sit in my lap because I knew that she most likely didn’t get the individualized attention that she so longed for. With so many kids running around, I knew that she was not just sitting on someone’s lap for long stretches at a time. My heart longed to just let her know how loved and desired she was.
As the afternoon wore on she ended up laying her head down on my legs and I started to rub her back. I would have sat there and rubbed her back until I couldn’t move my arms anymore. I sat there silently breathing my hopes and dreams for her over her. My heart burst with love for her. Slowly she fell asleep on my legs, and in that moment I would have sat there for a week had she asked me.
I wanted this sweet angel to know that she is worthy of time and love. I could feel the cry of God’s heart for this little girl to know that she is loved by the King. People around me started to ask me if I wanted help moving her off of me, and there was no way I was moving until she woke up. The smallest of gestures was the only way for me to show her love. As my heart burst with dreams for her, I was able to see a small glimpse of God’s love for his children and his hopes and dreams for each one of us.
Haiti is full of orphans. But the orphans here are more than just children without parents. The orphans of Haiti are those who don’t know that they have a father who loves them desperately. A father who sent his own son so that they could be his children. It’s crazy how God has shown me these last few weeks his heart for those he loves. My heart has been constantly overwhelmed with love for the people around me because God is showing me how much he loves his children.
When you love a child like a parent, it’s overwhelming. It’s an all-consuming love, and God has been showing me this love by making me fall in love with the orphans of Haiti. Their sweet faces stick in my mind and I just want to scoop up each one and let them know that they are loved more deeply than they could ever realize. God has brought these sweet kiddos into my life so that I could realize that I have love to give and the smallest of gestures shows the greatest amount of love.
