She looked at me inquisitively, then looked down at her outfit.
“Do you think it’s okay if I wear this?”
I glanced over, then turned back to the dish I was washing.
“I think you should follow your own conviction and go with that.”
I’m your typical rule follower. If I’m asked to do something, I do it. If I’m given a list of things not to do, I am conscious of that list as long as I’m under that person or organization’s authority.
I know we aren’t perfect. We all sin, all the time. I’m not ignorant of that truth.
But, where’s the line?
There are times where we stumble into things and aren’t conscious of our actions until Holy Spirit convicts us immediately after. Sometimes even after some time has passed. That’s life.
And then there are times where we know the rule. We see the sin in breaking that rule. In our state of justification, we break it because it’s “innocent”. It won’t make a splash in the ocean, so why does it matter?
I’ve been in both of those situations.
Yet, it’s hard for my rule-following self to stand by and watch others wanting to be more relaxed with the rules. I’ve become exhausted with being asked if this or that is okay from a squad leading perspective. I’ve come to a place over the past couple days where I don’t even give a yes or no.
“Follow your own conviction.”
I was talking with a friend about it the other day, and she asked if I might be too legalistic when it comes to those things.
I didn’t even hesitate to answer. “No, I don’t think so at all. Why would we blatantly just break a rule? It doesn’t honor our authority and it doesn’t glorify the Lord.”
After she went downstairs, I walked to the front of the property and cried out of frustration.
Lord, am I legalistic? Is it not a big deal to disobey the little rules that don’t really matter?
I feel like I know the answer, but at the same time, I’m not sure.
I don’t know the line of accountability versus throwing my rule-following conviction onto others. I want to lead people without micromanaging them. I’m a work in progress, just like everyone else living this life.
And I’m still working on grace and mercy. I want to be more like Jesus, and He sees us through that lens. So I want to see people through that lens more and more each day.
Lord, give me Your lens.
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