Well, I am currently sitting in the airport in Chicago waiting for my flight to head home to Atlanta. It’s been a very long travel so far from Africa. I just have one more flight until I am home.I have many emotions going through my mind. It’s like a rollercoaster. I am excited, nervous,sad, but ready. I don’t know what it will be like transitioning back home to America. I know it will be hard so give me grace and be patient with me. I am excited to see what God does through me in the states.
I know reading this you might be very confused and have questions for me. Feel free to ask me any questions you may have. You can email me your questions at [email protected]
God is calling me back home. This is something I have been praying about for a few months. I felt a pull back home and He has given me So much peace about this decision. Honestly this is the hardest decision I have had to make. It took stepping out and trusting God. It took faith. It caused me to seek the Lord and sit and listen to him and follow him. I heard the Lord tell me in my quiet time this: ” Lindsey You were obedient in coming on the race. You followed where I was leading you. But if I told you I was changing your direction will you still follow?” Honestly for a month I ignored the Lord. I didn’t want to listen. But the more I sat still in front of Him I knew what I had to do. I knew I was hearing from the Lord and I knew the very very hard decision I needed to made. It was not easy for me, I shed ALOT of tears and wrestled with God ALOT. But the amount of peace I feel, I know I am making the right decision for me. It doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy.
I first want to say the last 5 months have been amazing. I don’t regret coming on the race one bit. The friendships I have made will last a life time. The memories I have made will be with me forever. I have grown so much and I have learned so much about myself and God. He has shown me my worth and my identity. The lord has walked me through healing of multiple things in my life. He has shown me how to be BOLD and to use my voice. I have stepped out in faith and trust over the last 5 months. I have stepped out in boldness by praying for complete strangers. Sharing my testimony in front of people I didn’t know, in a country that was not familiar to me. One way I stepped out the most was in Africa. I preached multiple times and to me that’s insane. If you would of asked me before the race if I was going to stand up in front of the church and preach I would of thought you were CRAZY! There is no way I would of done that. I hated public speaking and I am still not a huge fan but it was rewarding to be used in such a mighty way. To reply on holy spirit to speak through me.
Just because I am going home my race isn’t ending. My “month 6” is going to be all about glorifying Him by sharing what He has done in and through me and my teammates. Continuing to grow and to pursue Jesus each and every day!
This is terrifying because how on earth do I explain the craziest few months of my life? How do I explain when every month I moved to a new country, made a new group of friends, and adapted to a completely new culture? How do I explain the emotional rollercoaster that is my daily life and how do I always glorify the Lord even when I recall the moments of intense darkness?
Ask me what God taught me and my mind goes into overdrive because God has taught me something new every single day. Each month was its own journey full of very different lessons and experiences.
It’s never easy, but completely worth it to look back and remember what God promised me and see the fruit of trusting Him enough to blindly walk with Him.
Peace has filled me.
And over the past few months I’ve seen the fruit/ reward of believing God would fulfill that promise. The promise of growth even if it wasn’t my ideal situation.
But, isn’t that like God? To keep our eyes on what truly matters- where He’s at in the here and now.
I decided to be faithful with each day and remember that God was taking me from glory to glory, even if it didn’t look like it on paper.
To Ksquad.
I truly call each one of you brothers and sisters. I will miss you more than I can explain with words. It is all of you that brings me to tears as I look at not finishing this race that we started together. When I said my goodbyes to each one of you it hit me hard. I couldn’t help but feel the love you have for me. Thank you for loving me well. I seriously love each one of you. I consider it a privilege to have been on this adventure with you. Know that while I will not be serving by your side the rest of the race, you will still have my prayers and intercession! I believe in each one of you, I still believe that this is a warrior squad and that each one of you are divinely gifted and are called so powerfully by God for a time such as this. I am sad to be leaving. There are so many thoughts in my head and emotions in my heart. But know that I was blessed my each one of you. I have learned so much from each one of you. And it is because of the grace, love, humility, and encouragement of each one of you that I can say I know what is feels like to be called a sister in Christ, to be loved by family. I love yall so deeply. Thank you for all of the memories. I can’t wait to see you all again. Thank you for the laughter you brought to my life! K squad for life!
To my supporters: I wanted to officially say thank you for your support. I’m sorry that it didn’t go all the way we all expected it to but know that your time, prayers and finances have not gone to waste. You provided me with an opportunity that has allowed Jesus to wreck and change me. God has really done something in and through me for His glory and my good. I am so incredibly grateful to each one of you for supporting me during this journey. Thank you for the financial support, the prayers, the blog comments, the Facebook likes, and the e-mails. You will never fully know the huge impact you have had! Knowing that you were praying for me was sometimes enough to push me through one more day. I hope your not too disappointed or upset with me. Please continue to pray for my journey at home.
This is just the beginning for me.
All of my love,
Lindsey Brown
