I put my headphones in and began to intentionally spend time with God. As the music carried my mind away, my muscles began to relax. I soon found myself dreaming about God.
I was sitting across a restaurant table from Him, the room lit by flickering candles. Although there were other people in the room, they were just a blur in the background. Nothing could take my focus off of His glory; His presence was utterly captivating. I could feel His love pouring out of Him and into me, filling me with an overwhelming joy I had never felt before. My undivided attention on Him gave me a completeness I had never yet before experienced.
But then something happened.
I looked down at myself. We were sharing a gourmet meal, and I was only in jeans. I looked up at Him, shamed by my appearance. "I'm sorry for not dressing up for our meal," I apologized, my voice almost shaking as I held back tears of inadequacy. As I cast my eyes on the ground, I felt his finger gently tilt my chin up until our eyes met. Tucking a piece of hair behind my ear, He said, "I have created you. You are exactly who I want you to be. There is no need to dress up to please me." Then He whispered, as if I was the captivating one, "You are beautiful."
But then I became aware of the other people in the restaurant. "Are you sure you want to be here with me? That woman over there has a better sense of humor than me," I compared. "And the woman at the table behind me seems to have her life together more than I ever have ." He lovingly grabbed my hand as He looked into my eyes. "You are everything I've ever wanted. Even if there was no one else on the earth, I would have still sent my Son for you alone. You are my everything." His voice lowered again as He looked into my eyes, "I chose you."
And then the bill came. As our waiter placed it on the table, I grabbed for the check as His hand rested on top of mine. "It's okay," I protested. "I can split the bill with you. You don't have to pay for me." He ran His thumb across the back of my hand. "I know I don't have to, but I want to." He slid my hand to the side as he took the check. "I have paid the price for you, and I will continue to provide you with everything you need." He whispered intimately, "Trust me…you are worth it."
With that, everyone else faded into the background again. His glory once again captivated me. My joy returned because I was complete.
God is trying to pursue each and every one of us, but we need to make sure we are letting Him. There is no need to let self doubt ruin the most important relationship we have. God already thinks you are beautiful and He chose you because you are worth it. Let Him prove it to you.
