I have no words to describe the last month in a half. I have been trying to process everything and it’s been such a journey. I would not have traded it for anything and God is continuing to break me and take these pieces in my life that I thought would never be used, and He’s consistently calling me to go deeper with Him.
In Costa Rica it was a tough first month. We were away from everyone, I went to the doctor twice for what they say was an allergic reaction to the rivers, we lost a teammate ( which makes our team a strong team of 5 now). Trying to process Month one has seemed so impossible. I mean we did manual Labor, worked on a farm, helped with the local children and all the time in my mind I knew that God had called me to go on this amazing journey just me and Him, but what was that suppose to look like? I left thinking I had all the answers to this question, having exceptions of what this journey was going to look like, and I come and step into month one and I realized “what did I just walk into”?
Let’s fast forward to month 2. All squad month. Grenada Nicaragua. Last night… Worship has been a big part of my life. I went to school for it, I have lead worship many times, but really I wanted to go deeper, but there was always limitations. I put them on myself, others have put them on me as well. I have heard it said over and over, “we don’t like the songs you sing”,”or why don’t you tone it down a bit”. It’s always ended up feeling like a performance. So much so I left my guitar at home telling myself I will never pick it up again, and worship in front of people. And to be honest I had let those words, those thoughts shape and define who God had called me to be. Last night was different. A few of us were invited to go with a local missionary and do worship and speak in the Central Park.
At first I thought no way… I am so busy… I am way past due to write a blog, I feel so exhausted and my introverted self needs some time alone. I came up with tons of excuses but every time all I could hear were these words. ” I have called you to come deeper with Me, yet your still only standing on the shore only getting your feet wet”.
So I went. I made the long trek to the middle of the park not knowing what to expect. Though I never led worship, I had an opportunity to speak and share with the people walking by. But I did hold the guitar for a couple minutes a little bit later that night and played on the street for just a few brief moments. In that moment there was a lot of emotion that welled up inside of me. After returning the guitar to the missionary, there was so much freedom inside. I have never felt so much freedom to worship. So much freedom to be myself. Last night was night to remember. Last night was a night where freedom came down in my life.
Thank you guys so much for all the support you have shown me during this crazy ride! God is doing incredible things around the world and peoples lives are changing. Yesterday we also had the opportunity to pass out a snack back to the locals who beg on the streets. It was such an incredible way to show Gods love to the homeless. This month our team has lived on an island for a few days helping the locals build a church. God is moving all thanks to you. I am still $3,000 away from being fully funded and to finish this journey. If you feel led to give you can hit the support me link and give there.
Much love,
Lindsey
P.S… There is Dr. Pepper here in Grenada… It’s a beautiful thing really.
