I've never down home visits before. It a new thing for me so when Vuthy told us one morning that we were going to do a home visit I wasn't really sure what to except. So we had a translator lead us over to a house and introduce us to a lady names Ann.
When we walked up to her house – Ann was laying on a wood platform about waist high. She was shielded behind a tattered mosquito tent. Our translator pulls up the netting to reveal her laying on the back with her legs bent. Her legs are just skin and bone like the rest of her body. To call her thin would be an understatement. Her hair is graying, short and flattened from her laying on her back. Her face sunken. She has big brown eyes. She looks to be around 70 ish.
We say our names and our translator starts the conversation. Being polite we ask her how she is doing. She tell us via our translator that she has a lot of pain in her legs. She explains that she can't walk of sit anymore. We find out that she has been in this condition for five months. We nod as the conversation gets past from Ann to the translator to us. Then from us to the translator back to her. She tells us that she believes in God and that she prays often. We ask more about her condition and she tell us she is weak and can't eat much anymore. She tells us that she prays for death.
As she is telling us all this her lays her hand down on the platform and I instantly sit on the platform next to her and take her hand. She looked at me and I fell apart. The conversation dwindles and we ask her we can pray for her. She agrees and I start. I don't know what I prayed for – all remember is trying my hardest to get the words out. We finish praying and tell her we will come back next week to visit. As we say goodbye and leave I lock eyes with her again. There is something about her eyes… the way she looks at me.
We left and I was still shaken. Later that day I decide to go for a walk – listen to some music and pray. As I walked I started to sob. Like the can't control yourself, making awkward noises type of sobbing. I prayed for no pain and peace for Ann. I also prayed for understanding for myself.
To be honest I don't know why Ann has affected me so much. Yes her situation is rough. Yes she is in pain but its more than that. Something in me broke. Maybe I'm coming ton terms with my own morality. Maybe it has to do with her hopelessness. I'm not sure – but I'm praying through it and waiting on God.
I do know that this is just the beginning of the world race and this won't be the last time I will see suffering in the next 9 months. Prayers would be appreciated.
