I was told right before I left for the World Race that I
wasn’t good enough to be a missionary and to think the reason someone told me
that was because I cussed. I cried for hours at the time because that was
literally the extent of my sin to that person and to be honest, I was in way
deeper than using choice words. That was all it took though, the lie had sunk
in, I was not “good enough” to be a missionary, or even be called a Christian,
much less bring others to Christ. I was one Hott Mess inside and out. Well
obviously I ended up on the race and can I just say my mindset is completely
different!!
If you have ever read
any part of the Bible you will see that God uses Hott Messes. It’s True. Peter,
Paul, and David not to be a name dropper or call anyone out but weren’t they
all murders, deniers of Christ?? Anyways, God used them, of all people. He
didn’t pick people who had their act together, He chose all Hott Messes. There
is a saying here in Moldova that goes, “clean the fish before you catch them”,
which basically means make people look better and clean up their act before you
come to church or really in any way of life. Anyone who freaking knows God or
His word knows that isn’t even possible!! People have formed this idea of who
they think God is and what He wants from us, and how His church is supposed to
look. Isn’t God all knowing?? Ummm hello, He created us. He knew that we were
going to mess up. He knew we wouldn’t be able to do anything perfectly, and He
kinda knew we couldn’t follow any type of laws (He tried it in the Old
Testament and it was a big flop). But anyways God knew all of this and He still
handed over His church to us. Well technically He gave it to Peter in Matthew
16:16-18, Jesus declares that Peter is the Rock of the church. Dude. He had
Paul, a murder turned maniac Christian, to write most of the New Testament. Did
either of these guys get their act together and then come to the Lord and then
He decided to use them. Nope. He freaking caught them in the act, pulled them
out of their messes. He called them to spread the word of His son. Dude, He did that with me too! He is using me in
ways I never thought would be possible. He is having me, a messed up confused
girl who didn’t know her left from her right 4 months ago to now further His
kingdom. To lead millions to Christ. To save the world. To bring Him glory. Idk
about the millions to Christ and what not, but He’s definitely using me. He sent His son to die on the cross for the
forgiveness of our sins, because He’s the type of guy who wants to love and
forgive us no matter what.
Either way this whole rant is just me saying, Guys……. He
uses Hott Messes. No Hott Mess is too big or too great. You’re never in too
deep. God wants to shower you with love and freaking use you as His hands and
feet. I just want to be a little encouragement to anyone who thinks that this life
you’re living is it and God didn’t choose them, because if you’re reading this
He’s chose you. This is it. He wants all of you right now, in your mess and
crumbled crazy life. This is basically your burning bush on the road, of course
it’s not as fancy and definitely not blinding but it’s your bush for sure.
