One of my main struggles in life is patience. Efficiency is key, and sometimes I think that people are being inefficient and it just, bugs. I get antsy and frustrated easily. I’ve asked the Lord for help with my patience, or lack there of, for many years. I always have that afterthought though, that one where I say, “Lord, you can test me, but just not in that one way.” I think that our Lord has a funny sense of humor.
Month #1 is not as I thought it would be. Maybe, reading those 1,000,000 blogs of other people’s experiences on the race was not the best idea. It created an illusion in my head of what I thought my race should be like. I thought I would be out in the middle of nowhere surrounded by green for miles, only reached by a jeep on a dirt road.
Instead, I am here, smack dab in the middle of city life, IN THE DESERT, where it NEVER rains. Millions of people everywhere all the time. Apartments and houses stacked on top of each other, broken sidewalks, buses, cars, motor taxis everywhere, never a break from the constant noise (What is there to honk at 3AM?! I do not understand!). And the humidity… it is unreal, I mean who doesn’t like sweating in their sleep?!
For the first couple of weeks I couldn’t see past myself, and my own ideas. Instead, all I saw was all of the waiting. It is hard to wait now after waiting months to go on the race. I wait for teammates, I wait for buses, I wait for bus rides to finally be over hours later, I wait for ministry, I wait for food, we wait for kids, I wait for the translator to help me out (because my Spanglish is horrific), and since we walk a lot we wait at a lot of street crossings.
It is hard to not be disappointed or impatient. Everything I had imagined for myself was just not coming true. But maybe, just maybe, God has a bigger plan for me (the thought!) than I could have dreamed up. I had to be patient for that day to finally come.
The Lord was basically jumping up and down trying to get my attention, yelling at me, “Daughter! Stop! I am here! There is nothing here for you to fix. JUST BE HERE, JUST BE WITH ME”. I had to see past myself to see Christ, it was like the scales from my eyes had fallen. I felt kind of like Saul, walking around blind, refusing to trust Christ. I wasn’t breathing out murderous threats or anything like Saul, but I wasn’t being a good uplifting teammate.
“And immediately there fell from his eyes something like scales, and he regained his sight, and he got up and was baptized.
Acts 9:18
During that week and half where I was only thinking about me, I was completely overlooking everything that was around me. This is a beautiful city, it may not the be the Lord of Rings mountain town I had dreamed up, but man, this place is beautiful. There is so much color, so much life, and SO MUCH JESUS! His love and His grace are so apparent everywhere.
“Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Proverbs 3: 5-6
I can’t look over all these generous hearts; all they do is give, even when they don’t have the means to give. In our first 8 days, we only paid for 3 of our lunches and our stay was free. These people just GIVE and GIVE. They give with gratitude and the biggest smiles. They greet you with the warmest hugs and check-kisses. They are thankful when we show up, so that they can serve us. When we came here to serve them.
“I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me”
Proverbs 8: 17
I was not actively seeking out the Lord. I was on The World Race, I was a “missionary” now, isn’t that enough? NO! I need to actively seek the Lord every morning, every day, every night, because every minute is His. I may have fallen behind in the first couple of weeks, but I finally feel like I’m catching up.
Thanks for being the most patient Father, Lord.
