One lesson I never thought that God would teach me on the Race is what it means to love others. I always thought I had that one down. Growing up in Sunday school, that’s pretty much the major theme you learn about. Love God. Love your neighbors. Love your enemies. Simple enough right? Be nice to everyone and you’re good. Sure people might call you funny names because you’re a Christian, but that’s good! That’s persecution! Love them anyways! Yea, easy enough…..until you realize that God actually means it.
This might be the hardest blog I’ve had to write. It’s not full of funny stories or laughing orphans. I’m sorry, but I don’t have any anecdotes or jokes to share. You might actually be offended or think “She can’t write about stuff like this. We don’t talk about things like this in the Church.” Well, sorry not sorry. The Lord is telling me to write this and I’ve come to care more about His opinion than the opinion of others.
My time here in Asia hasn’t been the easiest. God’s allowed me to be in some pretty ugly situations. And I didn’t really get why until last night when we had a little talk about what it means to love everyone. I said, “I do God. I love your children.” And then He reminded me of some people that have crossed my path and I responded, “Well surely not them Lord! You know what they did.” His response? “Love them anyway.”
Let me fill you in.
Day one of Asia, my team and I went to a nearby 7-Eleven to get some breakfast. It was super packed. It was so crowded that I didn’t really notice him at first. I knew that somebody was standing close beside me, but I didn’t think much of it. I assumed that he was staring at the cooler and debating between getting chocolate milk or Pepsi just like I was. But something made me turn and look at him. That’s when I noticed that this man wasn’t just standing super close to me because he was debating between beverages. He was actually doing something incredibly crude and offensive. Without being too explicit, let’s just say that this man’s pants were undone and he was performing an act that would be labeled “publicly indecent” in the States. I quickly ran away from this man, but that didn’t seem to bother him. He continued to go up behind other women in the store and continued to do this disgusting thing.
You might be wondering why I didn’t yell at him and make a big scene. If I was back home, I would have. But keep in mind, when you’re a foreigner overseas, things change. I had just finished this orientation about Asian culture where I learned that it’s incredibly offensive to make a scene in public. I didn’t know what to do. Other people saw him. They kept silent too. Nobody would do anything. I felt so powerless. And angry. Angry at that man for thinking that was okay to do to me. Angry at the people in the store for not doing anything. Just angry.
Flash forward to this month in Malaysia. One day, a few of us were walking back home from the grocery store. While we were walking down the main road, a guy on a motorcycle cat-called at us as he drove by. This didn’t really phase us as it’s something that happens on a normal basis when you’re a white girl in a foreign country. We turned into our neighborhood and the same guy passed us again. This time he was coming from the opposite direction. It was like he knew we lived in that neighborhood (almost everyone in our small town knows where the 6 white girls live). At this point my gut tells me somethings off. I knew that the guy had followed us, but for some reason I just brushed it off. We continued our walk home, without any real concerns. The next thing I know, somebody is grabbing my butt. I don’t mean somebody just walked past me and slapped me (which isn’t okay either). I mean somebody is grabbing me and lingering. The guy on the bike had circled around again and snuck up on me. Rage. That’s the only thing that went through my mind at that moment. I freaked out and started yelling at the man (saying some words that AIM probably wouldn’t want me to write in my blog). My friends are confused because I was in the back of the group and they didn’t see the guy. I lunged at him, ready to just start swinging when one of my teammates pulled me away. The guy sped away on his bike and there I was, powerless once again. Angry. Hurt. I felt dirty and full of shame.
A few days later, our team went to the beach for the weekend. And honestly, that trip almost made me lose my faith in men entirely. We were surrounded by men who thought we were theirs. Theirs to look at. Theirs to get close to. Theirs to take pictures of. Theirs to cat-call at. I was so over it. I went to the beach for a peaceful and rejuvenating weekend; instead, I left with so much anger over the way men acted towards us.
These were the people God was telling me to not only forgive, but LOVE. You understand my confusion now, right? I mean, these men had done horribly offensive and disgusting things to me. And I’m supposed to LOVE them??? And God said, “Yes.”
In Matthew 5:44, Jesus says “But I say love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” He doesn’t just say “Forgive your enemies” or “Get over what your enemies did to you.” He tells us to LOVE them. To love them the way He loves us. And He loves us enough to DIE for us. Just let that sink in. I’m supposed to LOVE these men who assaulted me so much that, if given the opportunity, I would DIE for them.
To those who haven’t experienced the love of Christ, they won’t get this. I didn’t even get it until last night. This thing that God asks us to do where we love those who harm us, isn’t this heavy tasks that God demands that we do. God doesn’t do things that way. God will never force us to do something. He shows His love by giving us free will. But the Lord does invite. And my months on the Race have shown me that when the Lord invites you to do something, it’s because He knows what’s best for you. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,” declares the Lord. “Neither are my ways your ways. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9. He also promises that His ways won’t weigh us down, but will lift us up. “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
I have found that there is more freedom in love and forgiveness than in anger and grudges. Loving your enemies is powerful stuff. It’s not always fun or easy, but it is freeing. It’s also humbling when you realize that a sin is a sin is a sin. And God loves you just as much as he loves your enemies. And maybe, just maybe, if your enemies saw God’s love through you, they would have a heart change, and transition from your enemy to your brother or sister in Christ.
