September 17, 2012 was the hardest day of my life. That was the day I had to say good-bye to my precious baby niece Lilly. Due to complications, the day my baby niece was supposed to come into the world ended up being the day she went to heaven. That was such a hard point in my life. God was the only thing that got me through. He gave me a sense of peace that even though I was heartbroken, confused and hurt, I was still comforted by knowing that He was there with me.
Fast forward 3 years…
For my 5th month on the Race, the Lord placed me in Antigua, Guatemala. Our first week there, we received a message on Instagram from a girl who lived in the city and was hoping to meet up so we could tell her more about Jesus. So we did. We set out one morning and met the girl at a local coffee shop. There we all started talking about Jesus and what He’s done in our lives. Then the girl shared her testimony with us. She talked about how a year ago she lost her niece due to complications in childbirth. Sound familiar?
I remember praying, “Ok God, do you want me to share my testimony with her? It can’t be coincidence that we have similar stories.” Then, ever so clearly, God responded, “No, she is here to minister to you.”
She went on to say that she knew that the Lord had been with her through it all. And that even though her niece only lived a few days, she knew that her niece had fulfilled the purpose that God had given her while she was on this world.
I kept talking to God. “Well that’s nice for her Lord. I’m glad she has closure. But what about me? How could my niece have fulfilled her purpose? She died before she even came into this world.” Then the Lord told me, “Give her a purpose.” In that moment I had a vision of all of Lilly’s birthdays to come. I saw the Lord turning such a sad day into a day of joy. I saw Lilly blessing people even though she wasn’t here to do it. I saw myself loving on people every year on her birthday. Whether it was giving a homeless man a makeover or buying everyone at work Starbucks. Big or small, people who Lilly never got to meet would be blessed on her birthday. I would bless them since she never got the chance to do it herself.
Fast forward 4 months…
In September this year, the Lord placed me in Nsoko, Swaziland. The 17th would’ve been Lilly’s third birthday. My team bought cake mix and we were going to make a cake for Lilly’s birthday (something my family does every year). But I still didn’t know how I was going to make the vision that the Lord gave me back in Guatemala come true. We were in the middle of nowhere. Literally in the African bush. I had absolutely no idea how I was going to pull this off.
So I talked to our contact. Turned out she knew of a family in need that could use some blessing. There was a family of three girls who had been abandoned by their parents. Both had gone to South Africa and had never come back. They were living on their own and in need of food and school supplies. In Swaziland, if a child doesn’t have money to buy a uniform and keep it looking nice, then they can’t attend school and get an education.
That month, my team was staying at the same contact as three other teams. So I held a meeting and told everybody what the Lord had been placing on my heart since Guatemala. About how the Lord wanted to redeem the life of my niece by blessing others and that these three girls were in desperate need of love and provision. So we all pulled our money together and raised enough to buy the girls uniforms and school supplies. I went to one of our contacts a few days later and gave her the money we had raised. She quickly refused to accept it and told me that since it was something that had become so important to me, she wanted me to go shopping with the girls.
The next day, one of the local volunteers and I picked up the girls after school and took them shopping. And the whole time I swear I could feel my niece with me. She was giggly and excited and was “oooooing” and “aaaaahing” every time the girls tried something on. She really wanted to bless these girls. So even when we ran out of money, I felt my niece tell me “Come on Aunt Lindsey, let’s make them feel beautiful” and I whipped out my own debit card. These girls were so excited as they picked out new shoes, sweaters and school supplies. I could tell that they felt like princesses.
We finished up and took the girls back home. A one room hut made of mud and bricks. A home with no parents there to love and encourage and provide for them. I couldn’t change these girls’ situation, but God allowed me to love on them for one day. For one day, these girls were able to feel so loved and special because of my niece. These girls never met my niece, but because of the life that my niece never got to live, these girls were blessed.
I still miss my niece and I still cried on her birthday. No matter how many people I help, I still won’t be able to bring my niece back. When I lost my Lilly, the hardest part for me was picturing all of the things that she would never get to do. She would never get to play Barbies or dress up like a princess on Halloween. She would never get to go to prom or go to college. She would never get married or have little girls of her own one day. And she would never have her own chance to change the world and impact the Kingdom of God. Well, God being the God of Redemption and Making Beauty from Ashes has allowed at least one of things to still happen. Even though my niece is in heaven now, the Lord has still given her the chance to greatly impact His Kingdom and for that I am grateful.
