To be honest, time on the world race moves differently. I have been away from home for over two weeks (which is a new personal record). They have been some of the longest days but the shortest weeks. Having almost all of my independence stripped away has been more difficult than I thought it would be. I have learned to love people through their flaws, or try to. I have learned to be thankful for the food in front of me regardless of how much I enjoy it. I have learned that language barriers are real and they are frustrating. I have also learned that God is so real and so good.
Some of my team and I have been struggling with doubting God this first month. Doubting that He will provide a path for me when I return home. Doubting that He will deliver me from my enemies. Doubting that He in fact made me love able. Doubting His authority over evil. Doubting that I am even good enough to be here. Doubting that He will fulfill promises. Some other people on my team have also been struggling with doubt, so you could say we’re all in this together. Genesis is basically God setting the stage for what is about to come. He helps paint the picture in our minds like any great artist.
Genesis 3 is so important. Let me say that again, Genesis 3 is SO IMPORTANT. The first thing Satan is recorded saying in the history of ever is, “did God really say that”. Y’all before Satan even introduced himself to Eve he was putting thoughts into her head to doubt God! Satan doesn’t give you a warning or come with a giant caution sign to be on guard, he just simply comes. The fall of man was a very long time ago, and what’s scary is that Satan has been practicing this art since then (and practice makes perfect). Satan knows scripture, he knows God and he knows me. So to say he has become good at planting doubt in our hearts would probably be an understatement.
The thought of Satan knowing me and knowing scripture scares the heck out of me. The fact that Satan probably knows more scripture than me actually makes me nauseous. I am learning how important it is to actively be in the word everyday of my life. Along with that, I am learning what it looks like to be in the word everyday. Reading a few verses and praying for 5 minutes at night is not (in my humble opinion) an accurate representation of what actively being in the word looks like. For me, it looks like reading pages and pages of the Bible in just one day. For me, it looks like waking up early and staying up late to spend some extra quiet time with Jesus. The Bible is a grand story and I think we should start reading it in that way.
Life update:: I still miss home but am trying with everything in me to be focused on the now. Laurie (my blessed mother) showed me some homemade mac and cheese the other day on facetime and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. People are starting to get sick and pass around germs (community living) and I ain’t about that life. Taking microbiology and seeing what a parasite looks like under a microscope has ruined my ability to be risky with foreign food and water. I haven’t put lotion on my body in weeks and I feel like I’m going through withdraw. I am also still in need of some funds before the end of December. Please prayerfully consider partnering with me and what I am doing/will be doing in these next nine months.
Please pray for good health for not only myself but also the people around me. Pray against homesickness and everything that comes with it. Pray for the kids at COVI that they feel the love of the Father above anything else.
so much love,
Linds
