Recently I’ve decided that I don’t actually want to do this whole world race thing anymore? I am still going though, have no fear. But let me explain myself a little better.
(prepare yourself for too many “I don’t want” statements!!!)
I don’t want to leave home, chick fil a and my hair dryer.
I don’t want to spend New Years with anyone but Sarah and Grace.
I don’t want to miss my tender Tennessee Christmas (Amy Grant, ily).
I don’t want to miss the vols have a winning season.
I don’t want to miss Sunday family lunches.
I don’t want to go 9 months without chilis and Madeline.
I don’t want to go through the pain and hardships this next year will hold. I don’t want to be broken and empty. I don’t want to be sick and scared. What I want is to skip to the end, the good part. The part where I come home and see things differently. The part where I am filled with the fullness of God. The part where I have been broken and multiplied like that fish and loaves of bread. Where I have stories to tell and friendships from all over the world. You know, the good part.
Jesus also wanted to skip to the end. He also wanted to get to the good part of the story. He cried and begged God to save Him from what was before Him in the garden of Gethsemane. He prayed “Abba, Father, remove this cup from me.” To say Jesus did not want to die on the cross would probably be an understatement. Y’all He was itching to get the heck outta there!! BUT HE DID IT.
You have to go through the hard, ugly and broken to get to the beautiful and good. Change is not pretty in the beginning. Multiply however much I don’t want to leave home right now by 1,000 and you might be a tiny bit close to how much Jesus didn’t want to go through with it all. But, He did IT. He did it FOR ME so I can live in freedom. So you know what? I can do this for Him. I can obediently answer His calling. I can go after the lost sheep of the world. I can survive my first Christmas away from home.
This next year is going to be the worst and the best all at the same time. I’ve got major feels right now, but God is still so so good. I plan to spend this week loving on my cat and consuming too much cookie dough while watching Gilmore Girls. My room is a complete mess (no surprise there) because packing is a struuuuuggle. I leave THIS SUNDAY and I would love to hug everyone before then so hit me up!! I am also still collecting letters to take with me.
I REACHED BY $10,000 GOAL AND I COULD NOT BE MORE THANKFUL FOR EVERYONE WHO HELPED ME GET THERE. I LOVE YOU ALL.
Thank you to everyone who has been and will continue to pray for me over this next year. Knowing I have an army of believers cheering for me back home makes all the difference.
all my love,
Linds
