A few days ago I said goodbye to my momma and daddy. They came over to Zambia to visit me for a few days and see a piece of my life the past few months. They brought me all the life essentials, like goldfish and dove dark chocolate. They brought me clothes that smelled like the candles in my room and a new leather journal. It was a fantastic week full of adventure, good conversation and so much love. My twenty year old self got to sleep right in the middle of them in a plush king size bed. Seriously one of the best weeks ever.
I’ll be honest, I was nervous to see my parents. It had been over 200 days since I saw them last. Before the race, the longest I had gone without going home was maybe two weeks. I was afraid they would not be open and accepting of the changes I have made. At the core of my being, I am still little lindel, but parts of my heart and mind have been radically changed in the past months. I have learned what it looks like to truly live out of abundance. I have learned to give and to receive. I have perfected my Asian squat and bargaining with a taxi driver doesn’t make me nervous anymore. I’m different, ya know?
I was worried they wouldn’t see a difference.
I felt like I had to prove my change to them.
I felt pressure to be “better”.
I was suddenly unsure of so many things.
But the Lord has continually spoken the word redemption over my family and my season for transitioning home. I have an idea of what this redemption will look like, but I obviously do not know the plans of the Lord. I am excited and trusting for what all kinds of redemption are coming. The Lord has also spoken redemption over me and my insecurity, pride and questioning.
Seeing my parents was exactly what I needed and I could not have asked for a better time with better people. I see them growing in things and working hard to break old habits they have started to see as unhealthy. I was able to have very open and honest conversation with both my mom and dad about all the things. The things I have seen, the things I have learned and the things I am still struggling through. They listened and asked questions. I heard stories from home and all the fun things I have missed. I realized I have missed so much the past eight months, but I know I’m in the right place. My parents and I worked a kids camp, visited Victoria Falls and spent time just wondering around Livingstone. For me, it was a week of relaxation and reflection. A week of feeling like a daughter again.
I think one of my biggest things from PVT was that my parents are people too. My mom is a chosen child of God. My dad is a chosen child of God. Just because you are a parent and you are “established” in life does not mean you stop changing and growing. The Lord doesn’t stop working in your life just because you simply have a child and taxes to pay. For a long time I did not realize that parents and grandparents are very capable of change. Humans, regardless of their age, are living and breathing creatures that continually change and grow. The Lord is not limited to age, he does not live within our human version of “time”.
For a life update?? After prayer and careful consideration I think I have decided to go to nursing school in the fall. I have been wrestling with this and where the Lord is calling me for a few months now. I am not making any final decisions until I am home in June, but for now I think the Lord is calling me to nursing school. Honestly who knows though!!! The world is my oyster!! I am still working at kidsalive in Lusaka, Zambia. I will be here for the rest of the race! My team was to be in Mongu these past two months (with kidsalive) but they decided there was more work for us here in Lusaka. It’s a really cool opportunity because I will be living with the same kids and working with the same host for three full months. Lusaka oddly feels like home and we have eight little puppies that give us lots of love and attention. Nothing else is really new or exciting. I am just here, living my life while trying to kill these parasites in my belly.
Thank you so so much for all the love and prayers throughout this journey. I will never be able to accurately express just how grateful I am.
All my loves,
Linds
