Our ministry this month is with Hope International. Hope takes boys off the street and gives them a safe community to be part of. My team was split into two groups, half with the younger kids and the other half with the older. My team was with the older 20 year olds. So, that was not intimidating at all 🙂 Throughout the race we have worked with younger kids, they are much easier to entertain. Now, young men close to my own age?! That’s some next level stuff right there. My team assigned me as the leader. It might have had something to do with my loud mouth saying, “I love working with older kids.” I got my wish.
During a meeting with these young men, one of my teammates shared her testimony. My heart started to race. I had no intention of sharing my own personal testimony that day. I have somehow managed not to share my testimony the past 9 months! In that moment, I was reminded of a time in Nicaragua, I was encouraged to share my testimony but I told my team I would share when I felt that uncomfortable feeling of my heart beating out of my chest. That is how I would know when God needed me to share. The time was now with these young men.
I had nothing planned and I know I talked too long. I just opened up and shared my life story. I told them of my darkest moments and the varied experiences of my life. Most of them are of the age that my story took place. Talk about an intimidating group for me to share my testimony without a practice run. Go big or go home, I guess. I stumbled a few times and I know it was hard for them to understand me as I choked back tears, but, I was able to share my unfiltered life with those boys. After I proceeded, it got easier and I became almost comfortable. I was extremely relieved and happy when it was all over. We quickly started a game of charades to cut through the heaviness in the room. Which turned out to be a hit. Thankfully they were all past the “I’m too cool to make a fool out of myself” phase. It was a blast.
As the game started to wind down, and we cleaned up to leave, two young men seperately came up to me and thanked me for sharing my story with them. One guy even told me that I was so strong for everything I went through. That blew my mind for him to say that to me. Hearing that from someone, that has gone through more in his lifetime than I will every experience, let alone even come close to understanding, rocked my world. Again joy and sadness took over.
In both of my experiences in Ethiopia, God showed me that there are people in this world with stories far worse than mine, but that doesn’t mean I should feel useless or ill equipped to interact with them. God’s not calling me to save or rescue them, that’s not my job or calling for my life. All He wants from me, in those moments, is to stop and to simply listen. Listen to what He is calling me to do in the moment. God might just want me to be completely vulnerable with a group of young men my own age and tell them my story. Simply be myself, who God created me to be. That’s enough. Simply listening to His voice and following that impulse when my heart starts to race. I need to step out in those moments and trust that God has a plan and He will take care of the rest. And that’s enough.
C Squad is in Rwanda now. Prayers as we finish up the last two months of the Race. If you have had thoughts of financially supporting me, now would be awesome. I have the final $1,200 (click here to donate) to raise. Thanks for reading!
