I asked God to break my heart for something specific this year

well

it finally hit me

 

8 months

8 ministries

hundreds of stories that have broken my heart

but I didn’t feel it

it’s easy to become numb to things you see daily

people who worship carvings

multiple wives 

believing in thousands of gods

kids who don’t have pants

clean clothes

shoes

people who sleep on the floor

those possessed 

hopeless

alone

I’ve walked through killing fields

where babies were killed against trees

where people were tortured and starved to death 

because a group of men thought it was okay 

people who sell their bodies

as a last resort

no where else to go

kids who beg on the streets for money 

controlled by men 

a baby clinging to you, knowing there’s something better out there 

families living on the street

cold

in the rain

people dancing for money

women suppressed without a voice

children controlled for their talents

people who hide their true self

putting on a face 

shamed by the world

hiding in the darkness 

that is slowly killing them 

kids whose families are so broken

whose parents gave them away to be married 

pregnant 

not just one woman’s story

but many 

7 kids before 30

6 in happy homes now

1 still on the streets

but what did they go through before?

what did they see? experience? do? 

their ‘could of beens’ are reality for others

I’ve seen their possible life

living on the street

begging for food

money

turning to alcohol 

used by men

people

I see it now

I have faces

names

and stories

of those whom I cherish

& I love dearly

who could of gone down those roads

if they weren’t chosen by such a wonderful loving family

their lives could look so different

I’ve heard it all

seen faces

but it never really hit me

until today

these stories belong to people

people who God created

who He loves deeply

I felt like I was hit by a ton of bricks

tears flooding down my face

for all that I’ve seen

and heard

I knew that it was sad

but I was numb

I couldn’t feel all that 

not on purpose

just by instinct 

it would break me 

into a million pieces 

day to day

as you’re living your life

people are stuck in a nightmare 

abused

alone

each month we leave

but things are still happening

the kids from Cambodia are still at the beck and call of an evil man

the people of India are shamed 

people don’t have enough money to eat

the kids and families in Myanmar still live on the streets

begging for food and money

the girls in Nepal are still dancing for a living

prostitutes stand on corners to make money

and so many more stories

 

it finally hit me

s i n

and how it has affected the world 

I cried

I prayed

I repented 

and it’s sucks

but God is still good 

I don’t have the answers

to why

but I know that God is still good

I don’t have answers

I don’t have solutions

 

but I don’t need them 

I need to listen to the Holy Spirit

to do what He tells me

to bring light into this broken world

even though it is so, so broken

 God is so, so good 

 

I challenge you to make a difference

wherever you are

whatever you do

whatever your story is

use it

change the world

make the world a better place

and if you listen to Jesus while you do it

big things will happen

mountains will move

 

ask God where He wants your life to go 

let Him guide you daily 

and let’s change the world