It’s really difficult for me to make decisions. I can’t really put a finger on why, but decisions are not my strong suit.
What to order.
What nail color to choose.
What to do for the rest of my life.
I thought Physical Therapy was the way to go, but at the beginning of senior year I was beginning to doubt.
So I decided I wanted to go abroad the next year.
Then I found the World Race and it seemed like the perfect opportunity. Did I have doubts making this decision? Oh yeah. I’m going to miss a lot of things in America during those 11 months.
Fast forward to training camp a year after I made my decision to go….I was having doubts.
I thought I knew this was what I wanted to do, but Training Camp was hard.
I didn’t think I could do it. Little sleep. In a tent. The ONLY cold week in October (what the thunder?!?). With a 55 degree sleeping bag. Not enough warm clothes. I didn’t really set myself up for success here.
I had never camped before, and here I was camping for 10 days with 30 strangers.
I’m a quiet voice in a crowded room, so these ten days were very difficult.
There were different challenges every day.
Spiritual.
Mental.
Physical.
A lot of it is a blur honestly. I took so many notes and so much happened. I put off writing this blog for two weeks.
I didn’t know what to say. When people asked me I would basically just say training camp was a lot.
A lot of what you ask?
A lot of working through emotions. A lot of waking up early. A lot of new people. A lot of new foods. A lot of new things (like camping). A lot of sessions. A lot of worship. Not a lot of sleep. A lot of notes. A lot of yawns. NOT a lot of a voice (I got sick). A lot of porta potties. A lot of Jesus (of course <3).
Needless to say I was overwhelmed when I came home. I just needed to process everything, but I told myself I was too tired to. So what did I do? I slept. A. Lot.
Did I grow?
Yeah. I’d say so. I think the Lord brought things up that I can’t simply work through in 10 days, but He put them right in front of me. I learned different ways to experience the Lord and walk with Him through these things.
Am I sure I want to do this?
I’m sure it’s something I don’t want to miss out on. I’m sure the Lord is going to teach me things that He can’t learn in America. I’m sure I’m going to grow in my relationship with the Lord immensely this year.
Do I have doubts?
Sure. But isn’t that normal? It’s kinda a big decision. 11 months ia a long time. But I know one thing, the Lord is holding my hand during the journey and I can’t wait to see what He teaches me.
I wanted to quit. I really didn’t think I was going to make it the full ten days. The Lord dragged me to the end of those ten days and taught me so much. I couldn’t have done it on my own. Foreshadowing this next year? For. Sure.
Just because something is difficult doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. Go do the things not everyone will do. Try new things. Sign up for the World Race even if you’ve never camped. You’ll learn more trying new things than staying in your comfort zone.
You can do it. God’s holding your hand. You’re not alone.
