7:20 p.m. Brush teeth and spit the mixture of Cambodian water and toothpaste into the shower drain- gotta love all-in-one bathrooms!
7:26 p.m. Clean ear piercing. It’s bleeding again. Partially because of where I pierced it. Partially because a Cambodian woman tried to get rid of my headache by practicing what I can only assume was a Traditional Head Massage. This massage ended with my ears being pulled up in apparent attempts to help me defy gravity.
7:33 p.m. Crawl into bed (aka under our hot pink bug net- deemed the Princess Palace- onto my sleeping pad, which I stick to with sweat).
7:36 p.m. Consider reading Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone (You can’t make me abandon all my comforts, World Race, Ha!).
7:37 p.m. Get copious texts from Squadmates. Meaning a few sarcastic comments from Daniel while Amaris and I get into a theological debate.
8:45 p.m. Lights out! Yeah, I’m a grandma- it’s fine.
8:45-10:04 p.m. Troubled by God’s silence, I listen to music. Toss and turn in attempts to fall asleep. Nothing is working, I’m wide awake.
10:04 p.m. Text my sisters to complain about not being able to sleep #sorrynotsorry
10:05 p.m. Hear a buzzing noise. I brush it off.
10:06 p.m. The buzzing returns. Assume this bug is outside the Princess Palace.
10:08 p.m. Buzzing. Again. Maybe it’s the fan actually hitting the ribbon that is holding up the Princess Palace. Take a moment to appreciate how resourceful we are.
10:09 p.m. Is this buzzing consistent or not? I can’t tell. Sounds like I need to investigate.
10:10 p.m. Decide to count how many seconds pass between buzzes. One Mississippi… Two Mississippi…
11:03 p.m. Sleep is near! When in doubt, count your way to boredom.
11:06 p.m. Heather says something unintelligible. Uh oh- are the nightmares back? She squirms and then yells out a “No, stop!” Shoot- the nightmares are back. Last night she had the same one reoccurring again and again. At the yell, Juliana and I jump up to comfort her. She told us in the afternoon she needed to be touched so she knew it wasn’t real.
11:07 p.m. Move so my head is next to Heather’s body so I can hold her leg while she sleeps so she knows she’s safe. Gotta love those teammates with that physical touch love language!
11:19 p.m. Sleep is near!
11:21 p.m. Heather yells again. I rub her leg and whisper everything will be okay while Juliana holds Heather’s hand and prays.
11:49 p.m. My eyelids are heavy, finally. Heather screams. Seriously, gtfo, nightmares.
11:50 p.m. Repeat steps from 11:21.
11:51 p.m. Juliana shoots up from her mat. I ask what happened.
11:52 p.m. Juliana switches on her flashlight and peers around for a giant bug that was supposedly on her leg. Okay, drama queen… I ask where it went. She said she threw it and pointed to where MY HEAD NORMALLY IS. Rude. (This is not the first time she has flicked bugs in my direction at night- what a gem).
11:54 p.m. We look around for a minute, decide we are safe, and lay back down. But then…
11:55 p.m. We see a big black shadow in the corner of the Princess Palace. Never fear, Investigator Lindsay is on it (I turn on my flashlight)
11:56 p.m. Spotted: the LARGEST bug I have seen in my entire life is on the INSIDE of the Princess Palace. Excuse me, you had one job, bug net!!
11:56:03 p.m. Lose all my cool and jump onto Juliana’s sleeping mat while she screams. She actually holds out her arms to welcome me (if you know Juliana you know this does not happen- she pushed me away when we watched The Conjuring last week).
11:56:15 p.m. Heather tells us to calm down so she can get the bug out (if this isn’t team work, I don’t know what is- maximize each other’s strengths, people).
11:56:22 p.m. Kylie awakes from her sleeping-aid-induced slumber. Hello, friend, nice of you to join us.
11:56:35 p.m. Kylie realizes what is going on, says, “That’s on the outside of the net, right?” HA! No girl that thing wants to cuddle and you are the closest.
11:56:36 p.m. Kylie moves on over to Juliana and I.
11:57 p.m. Heather grabs a mug to capture Godzilla. She doesn’t think it’s big enough to catch him. I consider passing out- she may be right.
11:58 p.m. Attempt 1 to catch Godzilla is a go. Mission failed. I repeat mission failed and the bug is now HISSING. Even Heather starts to lose her cool.
11:59 p.m. Capture Godzilla in the mug. It isn’t big enough, the hissing bug’s legs are popping out the opening. Have no idea what to do with him now. But he’s pissed and the hissing is echoing throughout our room. I’m shook.
12:00 a.m. Juliana finds her certificate given to her in India. Perfect, Godzilla ain’t got nothing on cardstock!
12:00:30 a.m. Realize the door to get outside is almost always locked at night.
12:00:45 a.m. Heather and I crawl out of the Princess Palace with extreme caution. Do not disturb Godzilla. Tame the beast.
12:01 a.m. See that the door to outside is open! God is real.
12:02 a.m. Release hissing Godzilla. He seems to still be upset. Heather hears a whack as he hits the ground from the second story. Sorry, dude.
12:02:30 a.m. Heather and I feel pretty great about ourselves for this catch and release game of ours.
12:02:41 a.m. Hear the door shut behind us. Realize we are locked out. Perfect.
12:03 a.m. Realize Juliana and Kylie can’t open the door. They are locked in. The plot thickens.
12:04 a.m. Give Heather a bobby pin to open the lock. Some people just have all the gifts a World Racer needs! I am not one of them. Exhibit A
12:04:13 a.m. I’m wearing a sports bra and boxers. We have no choice but to ask our host for the keys. Thank goodness we can get to his door.
12:05 a.m. Ask Juliana to pass me a shirt through the barred window while Heather gets our host.
12:06 a.m. Juliana can’t find my shirt. Um excuse me, I know you are wearing your tyedye tee and this is one of those “give the shirt off your back moments.” Hurry up.
12:06:30 a.m. Juliana FINALLY throws me a shirt. It’s my Nirvana shirt (shoutout to Alex for the gift).
12:06:41 a.m. Our host appears with a confused look on his face. We definitely woke him up. At least time is on our side- he will never know my boxers and sports bra matched (periwinkle blue, btw).
12:07 a.m. See that his boxers match mine! Consider asking him for a pic. Decide this is unprofessional, considering the current crisis.
12:08 a.m. Our hosts pulls out what I can only describe as a wad of keys. He clearly doesn’t know which key is for this door. As he looks through the sliver and gold keys I start singing Jingle Bells in my head.
12:09 a.m. Accept that this shouldn’t take long at all. I only have myself to blame.
12:10 a.m.Find the correct key! Bless up.
12:11 a.m.The key doesn’t work from the outside. Make Juliana climb back through the Princess Palace to the barred window so we can pass her the key to so she can try from the inside.
12:11:30 a.m. The hand-off is impeccable. We should be on an Olympic Relay team.
12:12 a.m. Juliana can’t get the key to work either. Our host realizes that our options are limited- time to yell at the house mom who is locked in a different room to help. Our host calls out to her desperately (This yell is equivalent to my library voice- Cambodians are much less obnoxious than me).
12:13 a.m. House mom to the rescue! We can only pray someone knows how a key works.
12:15 a.m. After fiddling with the key even the superhero that is this woman can’t open the door.
12:16 a.m. She wakes up some of the older girls to help. They can’t get it either.
12:17 a.m. Hate myself for accidentally waking up everyone. What can I say? I love a good story.
12:20 a.m. Realize the door is broken. Apparently the lock inside the door broke so there is no way in. Spectacular.
12:21 a.m. Decide we must go through the boys room on the other side of the orphanage and, you guessed it, wake up the house parents on that side.
12:22 a.m. Remember we are the first World Race team to come here and that this entire community probably thinks all Americans are idiots (based on the ones they know, they’re not wrong).
12:23 a.m. Our host calls the House parents on the boys’ side to wake them. Rise and shine, friends!
12:24 a.m. Start walking over to the other side of the orphanage. Heather sees a frog. Only one thing stands between her and her sleeping pad. Unfortunately for her, it’s her biggest fear. I try to kick the frog out of the way, after all, she got the bug, and I locked us out, it’s clearly my turn. The frog doesn’t even flinch. Uh oh.
12:25 a.m. Make a few failed attempts at moving the frog. Tell Heather she doesn’t have a choice, she has to make a run for it. As her knight in shinning armor I put my subpar basketball skills to use and box out the frog as she shrieks and runs across the orphanage.
12:26 a.m. Laugh at the ridiculousness that is this night. Only 3 more locked doors until our room.
12:27 a.m. Get the door to the boys side open. Only 2 more doors to unlock until bed. We are in a game of Dungeons and Dragons.
12:28 a.m. Door to girls side opens!
12:29 a.m. Wave at all of our awake friends and apologize profusely between thank yous.
12:30 a.m. Open the last door. See Juliana and equate her with a beacon of hope.
12:31 a.m. Get back into Princess Palace.
12:32 a.m. Realize the buzzing was the giant bug the entire time. Investigator Lindsay, out.
