Dear Mom,
I’ve been meaning to write this for awhile now. But, as you know, time slips away and I tend to get caught in distractions. Nonetheless, my journey on the Race will soon be coming to an end, as will my blogs. I guess I was just waiting for the “right time” for this letter. And with Mother’s Day on the horizon, now seemed as good of a time as any.
The question is…where do I start?? I’m not going to write all the wonderful things I could say about you in this blog. But I will tell you a couple.
One of my favorite memories from this past year is from PVT; when you pointed out sweet little Jimmy while digging a trench next to a Rwandan road. And from that moment on you and dad just let me go because you knew there was a job to do. You let me leave you two just so I could figure out how to care for him. You didn’t object because it would keep me from spending time with you guys, who just flew across the world to see me. You just let me go.
Mom, you are the most selfless person I know. You’ve let me pursue God when I’m sure as a mother it was really hard. You have selflessly let me follow my dreams, even if they didn’t align with what you thought- betcha didn’t see India coming 😉 or Red Rocks… But, nonetheless, you support me, pray for me, and LOVE me. You do all of these things so well.
I called you crying today. I know that must’ve scared you because it’s not something that happens often. I guess I just hit a little bit of a breaking point. I had just thrown up (10 out of 10 countries made, be proud) and all I wanted was you. Okay, you’re right… also my own bathroom and a bed. But mostly you, I swear. I wanted to be laying on the couch with my head in your lap as you scratched my head and I petted the pups. I wanted comfort.
Mom, that’s just what you are. You’re my comfort. But not in the overbearing-helicopter-mom kind of way. In the still going to push me to be my absolute best and cheer me on kind of way (see selfless mother paragraph). On the days I’ve felt like quitting you’ve reminded me of the things the Lord says about me. You remind me that I’m strong and thoughtful and a servant of the King. You remind me that it’s okay to be broken and to cry but that it’s not okay to stay there. You remind me to bring praise where praise is due. Mom, you’re my comfort, because you always point me back to the ultimate comforter.
The truth is, when I think I’m exhausted I just look at you and remind myself I’m probably not as tired as you were when you were raising Dani, Jen, and I (let’s face it, that’s a true task and has nothing on 12 hour ministry days). When I think I could love someone better I just look at you and try to do whatever it is you’d do. It’s nice because WWJD stands for “What Would Jesus Do” and “What Would Jmoney Do.” And I know that sounds like a joke but I mean it. Mom, you’ve exemplified Christ in so many ways throughout my life. But one of the biggest ways is that you’re my comforter. You comfort me on the hard days and the easy ones. Just like Jesus does. You serve your community and your friends. Just like Jesus does. You laugh at me when I do something dumb. And I’m sure Jesus laughs at that.
You are a comfort to those who behold you, Mom. Just like Jesus. How lucky am I to call you my Mamma?
I love you, Jmoney!
xoxo,
Bug
