Asked and Answered (Q and A Part 2 of 2)

ICYMI I’M HOME! This is the second part of my Q and A blog, which I wrote last week while still on the field.  

 

What can we all do/ not do to support you the best way we can (when you return home)?

Do’s

1. Ask specifics about each country, the memories there, etc.  And keeping asking.  Once I’ve been home for awhile it’ll be easy to forget what I did!  But I’ll still be processing-if you ask me questions throughout the months that I’m home it’ll mean the world!
2. Give me space to process.  When I come back know that I will set aside uninterruptible time to spend with Jesus every day.  Please let me have that time!  And hold me accountable for having it, too- if I’m in a bad mood it’s probably because I haven’t spent enough time in the Word that day.  I want to serve you and love you well!  Every morning I will need this uninterruptible time set aside, but the rest of the day I want to live life that is interruptible.  God never tells someone he’s too busy to help them, and I don’t want to either!  But in order to love others well, I need to love myself well.
3. Text me, call me, invite me.  While there will be times and days that I need to step away, I’ve been around people 24/7 for the past 11 months (this isn’t an exaggeration) and I’ll miss it deeply.  I may not always say yes, but I still want to be invited!
4. Learn the names of the people that continually come up and ask about them!

 

Do Not’s

1. Don’t ask “How was your trip?” The Race is far more than a trip- it has been my life for 11 months.  The World Race has been the hardest year of my life, but also the most rewarding.  Imagine someone asking, “How was your year?” Overwhelming, yeah? 
2. Don’t freak out if I have a panic attack in a grocery store or break down in tears.  It’ll happen- ask if I want to talk or if I want to be alone and we’ll go from there!
3. Don’t forget I want to hear about your year, too!
4. Don’t let me get away with being a jerk or doing something rude. I’m used to feedback, you can call me out. 

 

Side Note: Also, understand that when I say “This one time in ____ (insert some country here)” I’m not trying to sound like some cultured snob. No one likes those people. But try to realize that this wasn’t the type of travel that we typically think of as Americans. It didn’t involve hotels or nice restaurants or shopping sprees. It was mostly slums and street food and kids spitting on you- and it was awesome. So when I say “this one time in India” it’s just me remembering Khanti Angel, Raj, and Alex in the sweet little coastal village. Every time I say those words it’s more than me giving you a memory, it’s showing you a piece of my heart.

 

Top 5 best and worst memories from the Race in its entirety.

First, “worst” because always end on a high note. These moments, though hard and awful, also taught me so much- and for that I’m forever thankful. The world shattered my heart this year, but I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. In no particular order…

Worst: 

1. Being away from my niece, Lincoln, for her entire first year of life. I missed so many of her firsts, but I can’t wait to make up for all the lost time. 
2. Watching a woman’s feet be eaten by ants.  See the full story here.
3. Seeing how broken the women were in the two different rehab centers my teams and I worked in. 
4. A difficult conversation in Cambodia. Details aside, I felt so much spiritual warfare in that moment and am so thankful for my friends and the Lord fighting for me.
5. Seeing literally hundreds of homeless people smoking crack. Particularly, Laura, when she told a few of us all she wanted is for “God to get her out of here.

Best, in no particular order:

1. An email string that came out of my hospitalization in Nepal.  It was the first moment I felt called to minister to college-age students! I can’t wait to see this grow as I intern at Red Rocks Church. 
2. Having Poumpli run into my arms any time I opened them wide! Seriously, this kid has my heart. 
3. PVT! Serving alongside my parents was such a dream come true. Plus, Gabbie, Luke, and I were able to help save a little boy’s arm!
4. Some of my favorite moments have been the ones where I’ve looked around and all I can see is God’s beauty and love. One of these moments was sitting on the top of an abandoned train with 4 other people. Another was on a small fishing boat, riding around the Caribbean, with 4 of the best women I know.
5. Working on the farm in Thailand and then feeling compassion for a rapist later that day. After knowing so many people that have been victims of sexual assault I have never felt anything but rage towards rapist. It is truly the biggest miracle I’ve seen in my personal walk with the Lord (and he’s made my leg grow).

 

These last questions were given to me by the founder of the World Race, Seth Barnes.  I’m thankful that Seth created the Race- a pilgrimage with the mission of serving others while growing in our faith- and I feel blessed that he has followed along with my journey so intentionally for the past 11 months.

How do we help Racers steward the fruit of their Race? What models have worked? What is the fruit of the race that needs to be stewarded?  Do we really need three years to get to sustainable life change or can we do it differently than Jesus (referencing that Jesus was with the disciples for 3 years on earth)? 

This question isn’t any easy question to answer, especially since I’ve never done life post-World Race. Therefore, I’ll give my initial reactions and maybe revisit this question again in a month or two! 

Let’s start with fruit of the Race.  Everyone’s Race looks different, so everyone’s fruit is going to be different.  We’ve learned our skills and our flaws, and we’ve learned how unique we truly are.  This said, I decided to come up with what I would consider as overarching fruit; satisfaction that comes fro the Lord only, the importance of community and being vulnerable within it, and the necessity of daily quiet time.  And so, for the remainder of this question, let’s just assume the “fruit” I refer to are these 3 things.  

So, how do we steward this fruit?

1. Satisfaction form the Lord:

Circumstantial happiness is a real thing.  While on the Race I have learned that in America it becomes very easy to distract ourselves into thinking we are happy.  For example, when having a bad day you can choose to escape into your room for some Netflix, go for a run by yourself, eat some ice cream, or call your mom.  On the Race?  You can’t really do any of these things.  Sure, you may get to watch a Netflix episode (if you have something downloaded) but chances are you can’t go for a run by yourself, get access to ice cream, or call your mom.  And so, distracting yourself doesn’t work anymore- suddenly you are so overwhelmed by the brokenness around you.  But you learn to rely on the Lord, not on your circumstances.  How do we continue to do this when comforts are all around us and brokenness (still very real in America) isn’t so obviously broken?  I think for me it’s going to take making a weekly schedule.  When I’m busy I’m much more productive and don’t let myself to fall into a numbing/distraction seeking pattern.  I’m not sure exactly what this looks like, but I know it should include daily quiet time, time to meet with friends, time to talk with other Racers, and working! I’d love to see the World Race create some sort of mock-schedule for the first couple weeks home!  I’m going to focus on self discipline, setting boundaries for myself; like x amount of time on social media and Netflix.

2. The importance of community and vulnerability within it:

Community on the Race looks a whole lot different than it does at home.  Over the past 11 months I think I have been by myself for a total of 5 hours.  This means that at any given time a teammate could look at me and know exactly how I’m feeling and what I’m thinking.  They know that I hate pickles and like my coffee black.  They know that I love theological discussions.  They just know.  And that’s because we made the choice to be vulnerable with each other.  At the beginning of the Race vulnerability was not my strong suit, but I am proud to say it is something I have cultivated over the last 11 months.  To steward this, I need to make finding a community a priority.  Once I find it, I need to be intentional with it.  I’d love to see the World Race teach us how to cultivate a community like the Race outside of the Race.  How do we introduce feedback to new people?  How do we continue to share our thoughts in the midst of a busy life?

3. The necessity of daily quiet time:

Much like the rest of the fruit that needs stewarding, this ultimately relies on self-discipline.  More than anything as Racers post-Race we need to make a choice.  It takes self-discipline to actually take the advice the World Race gives us.  It takes self-discipline to wake up early to read the Bible.  Racers, pick a squad-mate and have them hold you accountable until you can hold yourself accountable. 

 

Next up, sustainable life change.  In his email to me Seth wrote, “Jesus took three years with his disciples and even the best was crashing and burning at the end.  Change takes time and it takes encouragement… what models have worked?”

I read something on Abnormal Tribe’s website that startled me, “95% of Racers return to their old life after the Race.”  That statistic seemed to be a prime example of “crashing and burning.”  So at first this seemed like a scary statistic- after all, why would I want to backslide?  I have grown immensely this year, and though I still have a long ways to go to look more like Jesus, who I am has been declared “very good.”  Then I realized a Racer returning “home to their old ways” isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  

In her session during a Leadership Development Weekend my dear friend, Alex Banks, talked about how to “build our lives” at home.  During this Alex talked about Matthew 10 and how after Jesus taught his disciples how to evangelize he sent them home, not to other nations. I think this is an encouraging model to follow. That means 95% of Racers have the ability to go home and change their community’s normal. The past 11 months of our lives our worlds haven’t been separated- it’s all Jesus all the time. I think at home I did a lot of separating- it was Jesus on Sundays but parties on Saturdays.  When I return home now I don’t want a separated life- I want all Jesus all the time.  

So, does this take 3 years to do?  

In short- no.  I don’t think we can deny that this 3 year model worked/does work- following Jesus’ example has never turned out poorly.  However, I think the Holy Spirit allows us to do things differently than the disciples, as long as we aren’t doing it apart from Jesus.  I’m sure there are other models that will work because of the Holy Spirit, and I am excited to explore those models as I get home, but I think a good place to start is looking at how Jesus and the disciples did it.  So the model I’ll use when I first get home?  Matthew 10:12-15:

“As you enter the home, give it your greeting. If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you. If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet.  Truly I tell you, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town.”

I will go home and tell people the Good News.  If they don’t want to hear it, I’ll try to show them the difference in my heart.  I don’t think it’ll take 3 years, I think it will take every day for the rest of my life- and it will only be possible when I rely on the Holy Spirit.  

Call me a pessimist or a realist or whatever you’d like, but at the end of the day we live in a broken world.  We will never be able to steward our fruit perfectly or live the perfect life.  We have to constantly renew our minds- and that’s the model I plan to follow.

 

What is going on with the church in America? How do we raise up disciples that can show a different way? How does the church make disciples? How do they make disciples of all nations? 

Another tough question, Seth! What is going on with the church in America? It’s been a while! This year we’ve been to churches all over the world, and it’s been a privilege to see the models different countries choose to follow.  The biggest difference I’ve noticed between American churches and other cultures is the personal relationship between each member.  When I was in Rwanda the pastor and his entire family could tell you exactly what was going on in every church members’ life.  Not in a way of gossip, in a way that shows their intentionality within the church body.  This creates a really awesome foundation for discipleship, and is something I want to see the American church utilize.  

This year I’ve learned that a church isn’t a place, it’s a group of people.  In the Bible, the word “church” is never actually used to reference to a physical building.  So, if a church is a community of people, not a building, how do we create a culture that raises up followers of Jesus?

I think in general churches in America do a somewhat poor job at discipling. And I think that’s because so many people think to be discipled you need a church staff member to be your mentor.  Or, if you don’t have a leadership position within the church you feel unqualified to give wise council.  If I’ve learned anything this year it’s that discipleship is a two-way street.  Of course when you are being mentored you are learning something.  But as someone pouring out, you will always learn something from the one you are pouring in to.  For this reason, discipleship is a beautiful thing.  We often forget that discipleship is friendship.  I want to see the American church teach this.  When you ask “how do we raise up disciples that can show a different way” I think the question is really, “how do churches raise up better friends?”  I want to see churches treating members like friends, and members treating the world like friends.  No, not everyone needs to know every single person in their church community.  But everyone needs to know that their story matters.  So, Church, reach out to someone today.  Send out missionaries with the mission to make friendships that are rooted in Christ.  Make relationships, don’t just come, say, and go.