I have something to say. I don’t know who this blog is for. Maybe it’s for you. Maybe it’s for your friend or your daughter or your husband. Heck, maybe it’s for me. Regardless, someone needs to hear it. Maybe we all do.
To Whom It May Concern,
Confidence. You exude it. At least, people tell you you do.
But today, you don’t feel it. Today you’re thinking about that thing you did yesterday or last week that just messed everything up. That one thing you said that changed everything. Or that one thing that was said to you and it changed everything. And not in a good way. In a bad way- well, that’s how it seems right now.
As Christians we seem to constantly be focusing on our sins. Constantly focusing on our screw ups. Constantly seeing how unlike Jesus we truly are.
I get it, I really do. I allow myself to get into the slumps of all the bad I’ve done. All the mistakes I’ve made. I allow myself to reflect on every last thing I fall short of/with. On the Race, we have this thing called feedback. Essentially it is a combination of positive affirmation or corrective feedback. On the days where I get corrective feedback (it happens more than I’d like to admit) I find myself thinking about that feedback constantly. And it’s because I have the wrong view of it sometimes. Perhaps you do, too. It’s meant to realign your heart with the Lord’s- not to tell you all the ways you’re a failure.
Why is it that it’s so much easier to dwell on our corrective feedback than our positive affirmation? Why do we get so in our heads that we forget to pause long enough to notice that other people have the exact same struggle? Why do we not constantly provide positive affirmation?
Don’t get me wrong, I give people positive affirmation. Words are important- I wouldn’t have studied them for 4 years if I felt differently. But it’s the failure I sometimes walk in, not the corrective feedback. Those moments I need to renew my mind, just like it says in Romans 12:2. What does renewing your mind mean? To me, in this case, it means taking it directly to the Lord. That’s when I remember feedback is not “Roast Lindsay Time” it’s “Realign her Heart to Reflect the Lord’s Time.” Essentially, I take it to the Lord and we chat about it and it provides freedom. He tends to do that- provide freedom. But I don’t always walk in that freedom after our conversations. That’s the thing. The Lord is always gentle when He corrects me. He’ll be gentle with you, too. The trouble is, you aren’t gentle with yourself.
Right now our leadership assigned us a task. It’s due Thursday. I’m procrastinating. Somethings never change (shoutout to Lu for all our late library nights at LMU). The task is in regard to our next team. At the end of this month my team, Stay Salty, will come to an end and a new just as kick-butt team will come into fruition. This team change will look different because leadership is asking for our input with a survey. The survey asks for 2 people we want to learn from and what we want to learn from and for 2 people we want to teach and what we want to teach them.
The first question was so so much easier to answer. At least the “what do you want to learn” part. Mostly because I read it as “what do you not have that other people have and how do I get it.” Have you been asking yourself that recently? I’m here to tell you to stop. Stop seeing yourself as such a failure. Yes, you fail. No, that does not define you. Do you know who does? God.
Have you forgotten you were declared “very good” (Genesis 1:31)? Creation wasn’t “very good” until humans were made. Do you understand what this means?! It means we are better than your favorite mountaintop. Better than your favorite beach. In the original Hebrew the word for “very good” is “tov me’od.” Its direct translation is “muchness, force, abundance” (according to Biblehub). When I read that I don’t see just a little bit better. I see abundantly better. Abundantly better than your favorite mountaintop. Abundantly better than your favorite beach. Abundantly better than all that the Lord spoke into creation. Walk in this freedom, dear friend. You are loved. You are very good. Don’t forget that.
All my love,
Lindsay
