Here: I’m white. I’m American. I speak English. I stick out like a sore thumb. I stop traffic. I’m requested for selfies.
Home: I’m traveling. I’m backpacking. I’ve been to places some may only ever see on google search. I’m a world racer. Though it’s difficult and rarely glamorous, it’s trendy.
Being in the spotlight was fun for a hot second, but now it’s uncomfortable. I hate being in the spotlight. When all eyes are on me I feel one of two ways; awkward or arrogant. Both suck.
I love to sing, but never for an audience. I get asked all the time why I’m not on the worship team, or why I don’t sing more often. It’s because the spotlight is intimidating. What if I mess up? What if I can’t hit that note? What if they don’t approve of my sound? When I sing for me, my sound doesn’t matter. I like it that way.
Yesterday we attended a church in Maseru called “Soul Winning.” Like I stated earlier, my team and I stand out wherever we go. So naturally during worship the pastor asked my team leader to step into his office for a moment and speak with him about our group. At that moment my inner self rolled my eyes and thought “here we go again, just a bunch of Americans being paraded.”
The pastor requested and encouraged us to share a bit about ourselves in front of the congregation. When my team leader came back she told our group that one of us would give a testimony, one would give a quick word and another would lead a song in worship. We agreed.
Being in front of this church was different. I was on stage, but I wasn’t on a pedestal. I was front and center, but I wasn’t the spotlight.
After we introduced ourselves and sang “How great Thou art” my team of seven headed back to our seats and the pastor returned to his pulpit.
“I would like to take a moment and pray for this group,” he said. That hit me straight to the heart. Tears of humility welled up. “They are not from here, they are from above. It is difficult to leave your home and enter into cultures you are not familiar with. But they are in His will, to travel all over the world and share His news.”
This pastor is the real deal. This church gets it. They didn’t see me on that stage or any of my white (and Mexican, holla Celenne…and my inner self) teammates- they saw Jesus in us. They began to pray words of the Sesotho language that my ears could not make out, but my soul heard every word. Something ignited inside of me and a little (big) slice of pride left me, never to return.
“If you have a Bible, turn to Psalm 96.”
“Sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth. Sing to the Lord, praise his name; proclaim his salvation day after day. Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples.”
Psalm 96:1-3
The pastor began to ask some questions. “How do we compare this new song? Does it mean that our songs right now are not good enough? How do we go about singing this new song?”
He then began to laugh. He said that he took up singing lessons because “I’m afraid us preachers will be out of a job in heaven.”
What a beautiful thought. Once we cross that gate, preaching will no longer be necessary. Because we’ll all know. And it will be the very first time that we’ll know fully. People always say “I can’t wait to get to heaven and ask God so many questions.” But I don’t think we will have any questions left to ask. Because it will be the very first time that His complete glory and complete holiness will fill us overflowing. We won’t be able to ask questions because all we’ll be able to do is praise.
This new song comes from within us. He continued talking about his lack of skill in the area of singing. Notice I said “singing” not “worship.”
“My only setback is when I have people as my audience,” he said, “I don’t always follow the notes properly. But let me tell you, when the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are my audience- I sing like the Angels.”
How do we sing this new song that comes from within? His mercy is new each morning. Every morning we wake up with a new message over our lives. Every morning we have a new song that we didn’t have all the days before. Every morning He gives us a new song, and every day He is our audience.
Paul was a preacher. All throughout the New Testament we find him traveling to spread the good news. Only once in the Bible do we find him worshipping.
“About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyone’s chains came loose.”
Acts 16:25-26
There are times when you find yourself enslaved, the best way to break the chains is to sing. God sits amongst the praises of His children. His ear is inclined to our worship. The same grace that opened the doors for Paul is the same grace that will deliver us.
At that church I lost my pride, but I got my voice back. I got some doors torn down but I got a lot more free. I hate being in the spotlight but when it brings Him glory I’ll sing my new song every day.
“Sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth. Sing to the Lord, praise his name; proclaim his salvation day after day. Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples.”
Psalm 96:1-3
