Dear Reader,
I just arrived to Jeffreys Bay, so technically I’m writing from South Africa. But that’s because our Wi-Fi situation was terrible in Nsoko, Swazi (God forbid/ *eyeroll emoji*). All that to say, I’ve had a 9 hour bus ride turned to a 21 hour bus ride to reflect on all that Swazi had to offer. Here’s a list of 11 things I learned + did + encountered.
1. Speaking of bus rides, here in Africa we’ve experienced some miscommunications when it comes to time. My logistics partner, Sherry (shout out to mah girl) and I have discovered the secret. Whatever time the company/driver tells you the ride will take; you double it and add 3.
Example: When we landed in Johannesburg and drove to Maseru the bus company told us it would be a 4-hour bus ride. We communicated this to our hosts who would be picking us up at the local mall. 11 hours later we arrived to Maseru.
4+4=8+3=11
This seems to be consistent. Love you Africa. <3
2. Story time: It was a day full of coaching soccer + cheering on my team and after our win (HOLLERR) all that was on my mind was an ice cold Coke. At this time in the afternoon it wasn’t safe to take a taxi so one of our ministry hosts offered to be our personal chauffer for the afternoon. So nine of us piled into his five-seater hatchback and off we went.
As we all spilled out of his car and shopped for some afternoon snacks he came up to me and jokingly said, “What is your hearts desire?!” as he walked me up and down the isles of delicious items at my fingertips. I sat for a second in thought. It was a joke, but I took it seriously in need of a deep response.
My inner monologue digested his simple question and it went from the surface and took it deeper in my need to know my true self.
- Ice cold Coke. No, I can definitely live without Coke.
- Family. No, as much as I want to be a wife and a mother, as difficult as that would be, if God were to never grant that opportunity in my life I could still go on with life.
At this point, I was embarrassed that I hadn’t come up with an answer. I shrugged it off and we both laughed at my mental lapse. What is my hearts desire? The more I thought about it, I now have an honest and simple answer.
I can’t live without God’s voice. I need Him. I need His guidance. He is my heart’s desire. There is nothing I want more in life than to hear Him.
“Your words were found and I ate them, and your words became to me a joy and the delight of my heart, for I am called by your name, O Lord, God of hosts.”
Jeremiah 15:16
My squad mentor, Teresa, has mastered the art of hearing God’s voice. And shocker, it’s not that difficult- you just get rid of the distraction and allow Him to speak. The thing about distraction is, it’s the easiest tool for the enemy to use especially in our culture. But we find our true identity in our time with the Lord so of course that’s what the enemy will try to get ahold of.
Just like in a marriage, a healthy marriage requires healthy communication. Be expectant to hear Him because He wants to speak. If you doubt or fall into the trap introspection this will kill your faith. It’s rooted in pride and self-focus, so steer clear from that. Faith comes by hearing and hearing the word of God, so if you’re unsure if it’s Him or not, test it. Does it exalt Jesus? Is it scripture based? If the answer is yes, you’ve heard Him.
A few questions that I’ve been asking God as I practice listening prayer are:
- What do You have for me today?
- What do You expect from me today?
- How can I strengthen someone’s faith today?
So far He’s spoken every time. I’m officially a firm believer that if you’re genuinely seeking, He never goes silent.
“Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find Me, when you seek Me with all of your heart.”
Jeremiah 29:12-13
That was basically a blog in and of itself. Reader, thanks for hanging in there.
3. If you were to ask my squad of 60 what their favorite thing was from this month, the large majority would say (with passion) “Nothing.”
Most everyone pretty much hated this month. Except for me. I loved it. I can’t really pick a favorite, but I’ll explain to you all the reasons why I loved it, which might simultaneously explain why others did not enjoy it (with passion.)
When we discovered we would be staying at an AIM base, I think I can speak for the majority that we had the expectation of rolling up to a nice campground of white people welcoming us with burgers and fries for lunch.
REALITY: We stayed in the middle of nowhere with only a few villages nearby. We tented. We had 2 long drops. We had 4-bucket showers. We had one kitchen. We ate oatmeal every morning and carb-loaded every night.
But here’s the thing. I don’t hate oatmeal. I love my tent. Bucket showers aren’t terrible. I loved eating with all 60 of my squad mates. However, there’s not one good thing about long drops.
I woke up to the sunrise every morning. I had the mountains surrounding me on my 3-mile walk to my care point. I went to bed with the bright shining stars lighting the path to my tent. It was glorious.
Wi-Fi was a 15-minute drive if you were lucky enough to catch a taxi. In other words it was scarcely available. Snacks were a 10-minute drive away. Also scarcely available. All of my comforts were out of reach and it was an ironic relief. I’m the type of person that if you take away one thing, I’ll just gravitate to another. So to have a month where God stripped it all away, it was exactly what I needed.
This month might be my favorite. Although I type that from my bed in J-bay with the ocean down the street, so ask me in a month and that might change. *wink emoji*
4. Which brings me to my next point, rest. “Sabbath” sounds super spiritual, I get it, but it’s healthy and necessary if you want to stay spiritually in-tune. Sabbath=Resting with the Lord. Ya’ll I’ve discovered that you can have almost no distractions available to you and you still won’t be practicing true rest. It was week one and I found myself water coloring, watching movies, singing with my squad mates, and all the things. I felt rested because I wasn’t stuck in a routine, but then I realized that I wasn’t truly practicing the Sabbath because I was still keeping my mind busy with other things. I had a lot of downtime, but wasn’t resting in it.
Here’s the part where I basically quote everything my Squad leader, Tera, has to say on the topic of Sabbath Rest. She da bomb. *bomb emoji x3*
“When we opt into the Sabbath time we recognize that God is on the throne. He allows us to partner with Him, but He doesn’t need us. The Sabbath is when we refrain from doing what we think we need to do because we know He has it all under control.”
He said we could “do greater things than these…”
“Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.’”
John 14:12
…but in order to follow Jesus into those victories we also have to follow Him in His sacrifices. In other words, know when to say “no” and when to say “yes.” This comes from intimacy with Him and knowing the Lord’s voice.
“Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.”
John 15:4
Jesus had a rhythm: first rest, then work. Such a smart Guy.
5. People who beg for attention really bother me. When I see them in action it’s like nails on a chalkboard. If ever anyone were to compare me to the type of person I speak of, I would probably get super defensive because I. WOULD. NEVER.
Come to find out this month that I seek attention. I am that girl. I don’t beg, I manipulate. I know who will give me the attention I want, so I don’t have to beg, I just gravitate towards them instead. God revealed this to me through the lies I believe about myself in operating through my false self. That might not make any sense to you because it’s World Race lingo, but let me explain:
Lies matter because we act upon what we believe in. If someone were to say about your habit “that’s annoying,” at that point you might start believing the lie that you’re, in fact, annoying. Lies will cause you to build a “false self.” Which means if you believe that lie that you’re annoying, you will steer as clear from it as you can and act out in your “false-self identity”. You’ll become something you’re not. For instance you might cover up and shy away from speaking out your thoughts in groups because it might be “annoying.” Or you might act out and overcompensate in other ways because your true self is “annoying.” Or you might apologize constantly out of feeling that you’re an inconvenience. <- That’s me.
Just like Adam and Eve covered themselves in the garden out of shame- we cover ourselves with our false self.
So, reader, here are a few ways you can identify the lies you believe about yourself:
- defensiveness
- pettiness
- compulsiveness
Lies can be faulty core values. For instance “my haters are my motivators,” people who believe this can be truly successful as opposed to the opposite type of person who believed the “haters” and operates in the lie that they are good for nothing and will never reach success. The unfortunate thing is the person who is “motivated by their haters” is enslaved just as much as the “bum” because they both have believed the lie that they would never amount to anything- one is doing everything they can to prove it wrong and the other is believing it.
Don’t operate in the lies, operate in God’s truths. The only way to find them is to know His Word and know His words. Thanks to my squad leader, Andrew for shining light on that topic.
6. Boundaries. I thought I was a pro at them. I don’t really date, guard my heart- all that jazz, I’m your girl. Come to find out, yet again, I have so much to learn. It’s that pride, yo! It’ll get you.
Here’s what I’ve learned from my girl Teresa on the topic:
‘We need to have tight boundaries. In the Song of Solomon it says “do not stir or awaken love until it so desires.” SOS 8:4
“We need to steward each other well. The excess time you spend with a girl or guy whether here on the race or from a distance is not stewarding them well since you have agreed to this 11-month journey to be free of relationships. What is a steward? Someone entrusted with the management of someone else’s property and charged with managing it to the owner’s best interest.
The Colorado River is made more powerful by the walls of the Grand Canyon. The narrowness of the channel makes a greater river. As the river flows through the desert of California and Arizona, it gets shallow, wide, and muddy…even stinky in spots. Wider boundaries diminish the river. Sharper, stronger and more narrow boundaries strengthen it.
You have two ways to look at boundaries. As a taking or as a giving. The root of not obeying boundaries is thinking we know better than God.
Steward each other well. Enjoy boundaries. They are for your good and safety. Realize if you cross boundaries emotionally or physically you may be hindering that person from what God has for them.”
Boom. There you have it. Boundaries are tough, but when we renew our minds, it’s a gift.
“Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
Romans 12:2
Alright reader, the next five things that I’ve learned from Swazi are to be continued. I think that’s enough reading for you now, let it soak in. I had a whole month, it’s a lot to digest, I know. I’ll give you a few days before I force feed you the rest.
Also my highlights video is on its way, but it’s currently been uploading at 21% for the past 24 hours, so just be patient with this African wi-fi, alright?
Love always,
Linds
