Month 11, it’s finally here. It’s crazy how fast time flies.
Before coming on the race I had all these ideas about how life would change and all the earth shattering revelations that would occur. I figured it would be comparable to iPhone updates. Pre-race Lindsay would be the cracked and shattered iPhone 5, post-race Lindsay would be the brand new, sleek and shiny iPhone 7.
I remember thinking that I would have these epiphanies of what God would want me to do for the rest of my life. I thought He would bring me to this place of completion that “I’ve finally made it.” I thought I would experience the craziest of adventures every waking moment and become this humanitarian activist in all my 11 countries.
Some of that is true, but not exactly.
I haven’t come even close to completion. I maybe have made a sliver of a dent in reaching that point. It’s like before the race I only understood a small circle of Who God is, and now I understand a much larger circle of Who He is, making me much, much smaller.
The coolest part is that in discovering more of His identity, He reveals more of my identity too.
Before the race, I had hoped to find my niche. What am I great at and how can I transfer that into a career?
Month 11, I still don’t have the slightest clue. I’ve discovered I’m averagely good at a large variety of things- which actually makes me pretty relatable, so that’s cool.
But even though I don’t know what life looks like in a year, in a decade- even though I’m 26 and I STILL don’t have that “5 year plan” that adults are supposed to have set in stone- even though I’m still not that girl, I know my identity. And that brings way more peace than a 5 year plan.
I know that I’m chosen.
“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”
1 Peter 2:9
I know that I’m unique.
“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”
Matthew 10:29-31
I know that I’m heard.
“I love the Lord because He heard my voice.”
Psalm 116:1
I know that I’m seen.
“For God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love you have shown in His name.”
Hebrews 6:10
The thing is, all those truths aren’t meant to be some introspective, self-revelation that I leave on a journal page and speak over myself daily to remind myself how great I am. Though all true, they are meant to bring me closer in relationship with God and to live outwardly in relationship to my community.
This year I have had the great privilege to live out those truths in 11 places with people of all different cultures, ethnicities and world views. Maybe this year God will give me the privilege to live that out in 1 place with a less diverse setting. Both are just as purposeful as one another.
In the process of building community I have realized other truths too.
I was made for community, vulnerability and closeness.
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”
James 5:16
I was made to be a conqueror in Christ.
“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.”
Romans 8:37
I was made to build the kingdom.
“Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.””
Matthew 28:18-20
So I may not know what my future looks like. But I have so much peace in taking it day by day. Which is what He wanted in the first place anyway.
I may not know where I will be 5 years from now, but I do know that I will be much, much more secure in my identity. I know that I will grow in my journey of sanctification.
And I can assure you, as I continue to grow upward, I will grow outward. And I will inspire others to join in on the journey and experience even greater things than these.
