- Rice is at every meal.
- If Rice isn’t at the meal, some bread product is.
- Any and every public bus will have a trilogy blaring in the TV just to annoy you (Machete, any Jean-Claude VanDamme movie…you know, the good ones).
- Fresh coffee is unheard of…bring on the instant.
- All looks of confusion or weirdness are usually directed at you (or maybe that’s only when I wear my Five Finger shoes).
- If you don’t greet with a kiss on the cheek, they will find you.
- Time is more of an idea rather than an instruction.
- Public transportation is a sketchy guy in a sketchy van.
- Construction is never completed.
- Dogs, dogs, and more dogs. It’s fun to guess what mixture the dogs look like.
- Horns are not actual honking, but can be songs, sirens, or alarms…creativity is welcomed.
- No pressure to be in pitch while singing or on beat while clapping. (Hey Dad, you might like it here!)
- Corn can be made into juice—tastes like flat root beer. Yuck!
- Everything meat is “carne” or “pollo” when they are really just trying to trick you. (I was served a jungle rat and forced to eat it.)
- People can fit in every corner of a vehicle. Trust me, they make us.
- In all restaurants, what is on the menu is not actually on the menu.
- The roosters don’t know the time of day and will just crow at anything.
- Must carry around toilet paper like it’s your lifeline!
- You have to pay to use the most disgusting bathrooms. EVER!
- Extreme rejoicing when there is actually a toilet seat and your quads can get a break.
- Traffic laws are like my high school parking lot: whoever’s bigger wins.
- If you do not understand someone, it will be followed by voices raised and random hand gestures…as if that will make me understand Spanish better.
