I have never before felt so nervous for something I should’ve been so confident in…
For the last two weeks since returning from the trek our ministry has looked quite different from what we expected. We did a prayer walk through a Hindu temple last Friday, had some time with our ministry contacts over the weekend, and then spent Monday and Tuesday doing some painting/manual labor for the ministry house. We hadn’t yet done much outreach or really experienced the hands-on ministry Agape does day-to-day.
Yesterday was our first chance to interact with some of the street children during the weekly soccer ministry. We rose early in the morning and made our way to the ministry house to begin our day together. Halfway through my cup of Chai I realized my 4-day-old head cold was still in full swing. I couldn’t shake the dizziness and had to go back to our apartment instead of going to ministry.
As I spent the day resting and reflecting, I experienced an emotion I didn’t expect: relief. I realized the longer we went without doing any outreach, the less ready I felt to begin it. I had grown comfortable; most of our days were spent with our two teams and the ministry contacts. I didn’t have to step out and talk to strangers, I didn’t have to deal with culture gaps, and I didn’t have to take many risks. Though I believe the work we did at the beginning of the week was important, it didn’t stretch me in the ways I came to be stretched.
Complacency is a dangerous place to be and there’s no room for it in God’s Kingdom.
Yesterday I humbled myself and asked one of my teammates to sacrifice their morning of ministry so I could go today. I didn’t want to wait one more day to begin doing what God has called me to. This morning myself and 3 of my teammates got to go the small school held in the slums where children can come find a place to be taught things like English and basic math skills. They get to play and hear about Jesus. They get to be kids.
Today ended up being a day full of dancing and laughter, swinging children around in circles and giving piggy-back rides. There were no alter calls or baptisms, but the love of God couldn’t have been more evident.
My Father allowed me to see His heart. He reminded me of the path I’ve chosen, a path that, although quite narrow, will lead me closer to the likeness of His Son. I don’t choose complacency or comfort, for those things are temporary. What I’ve chosen is eternal; it is to love with the love of Christ as I allow His Spirit to guide my life.
I pray you choose this path also. Choose it every day God gives you. Choose it even when it’s hard or scary.
The Kingdom of God is here and now, my friends. Join in.
