Change in Direction
After much prayer, wrestle, concern, and wise council, I have officially made a decision to not do The World Race in July.
To many this may come as a complete surprise. For months I have been wrestling with my acceptance to go on The World Race. At first I thought I was simply afraid and needed to not let fear dictate my decision to not go… after all, I’ve been “called to the world”. I continued to write blog posts, send support letters, and ignore this feeling of uneasiness.
Many may know of my heart for Memphis. As I have continued to live here, I have fallen in love with this city. I have a broken heart over this city. I believe that God is starting a movement here and He’s up for restoration of this place. I have made many connections just moving here and this place has truly become my home.
As I pursued the World Race I realized something: it wasn’t fear holding me back anymore. It wasn’t just doubt. The strange reality is that it would be more comfortable for me to go across the world doing missions and ministry. The strange reality is that it would actually be more uncomfortable for me to stay in Memphis. Even in the uncertainty of the World Race, I knew what I would be doing after graduation. Staying in Memphis meant (and means) unknowns are ahead.
It had come to point: I needed to make a decision. This wrestle had been tearing me up inside. Just ask my dad – the last 24 hours have been filled with tearful phone conversations, hard questions, and me having to admit, “I do not think I’m supposed to do this”. I literally was not able to get anything done.
Today I have finally made a decision: I am not doing the World Race.
There is so much uncertainty in what is ahead now, but I finally have peace. I finally am no longer wrestling with this next step. I am trusting that whatever it is that God has is coming. There is a reason that He has broken my heart for Memphis and I am very anxious and excited to see where that goes.
Understand that I still have a heart for the world. I have a huge heart for cultures. I still cry over the world. I am realizing that the nations are here too. Perhaps one day God will call me overseas. If He does: I will go. But, for now, He has called me to stay: I have to let go.
Thank you to everyone who have been so supportive throughout this entire process. Continue to pray for me as I continue to listen to The Lord. Here’s to the journey.
Going to wherever He calls,
-Lindsay
To those who have already donated:
Your donations will be going to my Squad that I would have been going with – July Route 4. They will be used as team support. Thank you for your financial contributions.
