Really, God? Really?

I am disappointed in God. That is the plain, simple, unreasonable truth.

 

I am more disappointed in myself.

 

For over 3 months I have been working with AIM because the Lord asked me to and so I followed his leading. For over three months, I have marketed my position with AIM to raise support so I can do the work he has called me to. In that three months I have had 3 supporters, one of them is my mother and she is contributing monthly. It is discouraging. I try to celebrate the victories when they come in, but it is hard. I don’t like working another job to pay my bills and make ends meet, but I must until the support comes in. That other job takes me away from what I want to be doing with AIM. It is no good. (Not the job, just the situation.)

 

I post blogs and rally for support and nothing. “Really God? Really? God I know that you have asked me to do this. What in the world is going on? Do people even read my blogs? Maybe I misheard you.  When are the tides going to change? When is your body going to ralley behind me in support? You are all powerful and I know that in less time then it takes for me to blink you can have my support account overflowing. Please Lord. I am just trying to honor you.”

 

I don’t know if you remember the first line of this blog, “I am disappointed in God.”

 

Me, Lindsay Heston, is disappointed in God. What? Who says that? I guess that would be me. I’m a dork.

 

Really, Lindsay, really? Think about all the times God has been disappointed in you. The man has given me eternal life through his son Jesus and I am upset because support isn’t in my account. How selfish am I? I have forever in Glory and I am disappointed in God. RIDICULOUS!!

 

Am I the only one?

 

Please, Lord, help me. I am at the end of myself. I need you. Forgive my disappointment in you. I believe you will provide all my finacial support, Lord, but please, in the name of Jesus, help my unbelief. Ug! This is hard.