I have been
struggling a lot this month. It is my forth month away. Usually, I don’t get
home sick, but this month it really sunk in that I am not coming home for 7
more months. Being away from family and friends usually doesn’t bother me, but
maybe that is because they are always a phone call away or a day or two drive
away. Africa doesn’t remind me of home. Neither did China or the Philippines. I
wouldn’t trade what I was doing. I am seeing and learning so much on a daily
basis. The world is a mess and absolutely beautiful all at the same time. There
is much more appreciation in my heart for things I take forgranted on a daily
basis. Part of me wishes everyone could do a trip like this. You know, get
their hands dirty, hold an AIDS baby, paint a school, change a community, push
the envelope, feed orphans, encourage widows, and lose the boundaries and
limitations that we place on ourselves and the rest of the world. All these
things people can do in the states, they just don’t realize it. (I feel like I
sound like a politician’s wife. Well, if I ever became one I have a cause.)
Daily, I am guaranteed, when I wake up in the morning, that I have another
opportunity to make a difference. Another day, to die to myself and be like
Jesus. Another day outside of my comfort zone and into the hearts of people.
Another chance to learn more about who God is and who he has created me to be.
Embracing the vision that God has given me and knowing full well that he
finishes the work he begins.
If you have been
following my blogs the past few days you know that I am in extreme need of
support to finish my last 7 months here on the race. You should also know that
I am willing. Willing to go where ever the Lord leads. That is how I came into
this race and that is exactly how I plan to leave it. Whether or not that is in
just a month or in 7 months, literally depends on you. I want to stay. Maybe
for completely selfish reasons, but I want to stay. I want to go. Also, for
completely selfish reasons, but I know full well, that the Lord is not finished
with me out here. I started this race saying that I was coming back radically
changed. Do I think I am radically changed yet? No. Do I think the change has
begun? Hell, yes. There are parts of me that I don’t even recognize any more. I
read these blogs of my fellow squad mates who are petitioning for support on my
behalf. I read their blogs and think, I want to meet that woman of God! Who is
she? Hopefully one day someone will say that about me. The things they say
about my faith astounds me because I am struggling to find it on a daily basis.
They say that I challenge them. If so it is only as iron sharpens iron. I guess
I am just astonished at the fact of how the Lord has used me within my own
squad and I haven’t even noticed. These people are my family. I hurt with them,
I laugh with them, I cry with them, I praise with them, I intercede with them,
I dance with them, I pray with them, and I love them. We have dealt with a lot
as an entire squad family over the past four months. They have taught me more
about faith, love, and trust then anyone I have ever met. What they write about
me is only a reflection of what they are radiating themselves. We are united.
We one. If I am that way then so are they. RADICAL OBEDIENCE. Let’s continue to
live it out. No hesitations, just obedience. Thank you! You all have been tremendous. We only have $4611 left to go. You amaze me!
