It’s a funny thing when you get home, and nothing has
changed. Everything is still waiting for you, just the way you left it. Waiting
for you to sort through it. Waiting for you to dig through the junk and toss
what you don’t need anymore.
As we pulled into the garage coming back from the airport I
noticed a few boxes from my old apartment sitting in the exact same spot I left
them, just collecting dust. I didn’t think much of it, but as the days passed I
couldn’t help but notice those boxes every time I went to get in the car. They
were in my way – still are in my way –
and I have to make an effort to get passed them every time I want to go
somewhere. They are just sitting there, almost mocking me. It’s almost as if
they are saying “we’re still here… what, you thought because you left
the country we’d just magically disappear??”
Nope. They remained exactly as I left them – now a tad more stale and dusty –
but still there, untouched. Still there, waiting to be dealt with. Still there,
waiting for me to figure out where to put them and what to do with the contents
inside. STILL THERE.
As I’ve been home and thinking over the past few days the
reality of it has sunk in. One day, sooner or later, I’m gonna have to sit down
and go through those boxes. I’m going to have to take time out of my day to dig
through the dusty junk that has been sitting there for months and months and
sort through it. I’m going to have to get rid of things I don’t need anymore,
and I’m going to have to let go of the memories that go along with those
“things”.
So… Incase you haven’t figured it out… it’s a funny thing
how a box of junk can be so metaphoric. Now that I’m home and settled in a few
days, I find it no coincidence that I’m here at the exact time that I am. Yes,
I’ve just been through a lot – a whole crap load of “a lot” – and I’ve learned
a lot through it… but the cycle of learning life’s lessons is never ending. And
it looks as though there are some things that are still waiting for me to “sort
through” them. Silly me. And I thought I’d be in Europe, far far away from
having to sort through any dusty thoughts or memories I had left back at home.
Silly, silly me. And clever, clever God, him with his perfect timing and
everything. I’m really not being facetious
when I say that – I am truly amazed at how he sets things up and how perfect
his timing is. He sure got me on this one. But he sure knows what he is doing.
And I sure know that in the past I’d stuff those boxes even further under a
cupboard to deal with later – maybe I would just deal with them when I was
healthier. I mean I have an excuse. I was sick with malaria. I need to recover.
Maybe I would just deal with them when I had more time. When I wasn’t so busy
trying to get better to go back on the race. When I wasn’t so busy laying
around watching LOST all day. When I wasn’t so busy keeping my mind numb enough
not to think about the reality of all that has happened, and all that is about
to happen in the next few weeks.
Well, not this time.
I said I was ready for whatever God had for me next, and so I’m ready to get
into those dusty boxes and toss the stuff I don’t need. I’m ready to face letting
go.
“If God is for us, who can be against us?” Nothing. No one. Things might be difficult, but
nothing is too big for God. And with him to lean on, what have we to fear?
Absolutely nothing.
I know where my strength lies.
RAWR!
😉
