With only one week left of ministry here in Nicaragua, my world race is actually coming to an end. Next Saturday, my teammates and I will gather up our big hiking packs for one more move, as we make our way down to the southern part of the country for final debrief. We will spend 5 days or so hanging out as an entire squad, worshipping together and debriefing these past 11 months.
As I think about all the Lord has done in my life this past year, all that He has shown me and revealed to me, I can’t help but notice His perfect timing in it all.
Last July, training camp completely rocked my view of who God was, the relationship He wants to have with each of us, and the fact that He speaks to each of us if we only take the time to listen.
At the beginning of the race, in Uganda, the Lord showed me that the spiritual realm is real. In Rwanda, at month one debrief, He taught me what it means to let down walls and to be vulnerable with others and myself. He allowed me to actually feel pain, which I needed in order to feel real joy. In Ethiopia He revealed to me the power of His Holy Spirit, and in India, He showed me that miracles do still happen.
In Nepal, the Lord showed me that He can use any situation for His glory. In Cambodia, He revealed to me that all I ever really need is Him; that even if I lost everything or found myself in some horrible circumstance for the rest of my life, it’s okay, because He is with me. The Lord spoke complete redemption over my past in Thailand, and He taught me that my story has power and influence.
In Malaysia, the Lord showed me what it looks like to love without judgement. He revealed the gift of discernment He has given me, and He encouraged me in speaking life into others through His love. In Guatemala, the Lord showed me His heart- both the tears, as I was worshipping and began weeping for the little girl living in the darkness in the brothel next door, and joy, as I spent time singing “Jesus is My Super Hero” and dancing with the preschool kids, worshipping at the top of their lungs. And in Honduras, He began to prepare me for the next season. He revealed that going back to the States after being abroad for five years is going to be difficult. But He also encouraged me that He will be with me, that He wants to walk through this together.
Now, at the end of the race here in Nicaragua, the Lord has been showing me that He wants to give me big dreams for my future. It wraps back around to all the other things I have learned while on this journey. God doesn’t want me to numb myself of hopes or hide them away because I’m afraid of disappointment. Instead, He wants to give me dreams so big and great, to show me all that I could never do on my own but can only do through Him.
All I really know right now is that I will be teaching middle school students in Denver next year. But after all the Lord has shown me and taught me over the last 11 months, He has given me some big dreams for helping people all around the world and doing my part to continue bringing Kingdom to this earth.
1. Showing teenagers in the States perspective. I want my classroom to be globally minded, where students can gain understanding of the things that really matter outside of the selfie, material-centered culture they are often so used to. The Lord has spoken to me that I can use the perspective He has given me and my experiences abroad to influence the perspectives of my students.
2. Writing a book. My parents were actually the ones to encourage me in this when they came to visit, and it’s something I used to think about sometimes but never very seriously. As an English teacher, I absolutely love the young adult books in my middle school classroom library, and so what a better way to help influence students than writing some awesome books revealing what the Lord has taught me and in turn could teach them. And the Lord placed one specific boy in my life in Honduras whose story just tugged on my heart and who has been my inspiration for beginning to write.
3. Training teachers in third world countries. This is a big one- one that I know I would never be able to accomplish on my own. Working in schools abroad, especially public schools, there are SO many issues. Corruption, low teacher pay, no teacher training, no materials, etc, etc. However, the Lord has given me some “what ifs…” regarding this. What if there were training for teachers in public schools abroad? What if teachers were offered incentive pay through a nonprofit organization, since the governments often won’t pay them? What if these teachers knew the Lord and were passionate about discipling their students? I know there are all kinds of doubts here too. Like I said, I don’t have the answers right now. But it’s something that the Lord has recently really laid on my heart, and if He wants to continue to give me this dream, I know I can trust in Him to provide.
So, like I said, all I really know right now is that I’m coming back to the States and getting ready to teach middle school students out in Colorado in another month. The Lord has laid these dreams and more on my heart, and I am excited to continue praying about them and see where He leads me. They are big, and some seem impossible, and who knows how they might come to fruition, but if I have learned anything this year, it’s that the Lord can do bigger things than we’d ever imagine. I know I can’t accomplish any of these dreams on my own, and honestly, I don’t want to. But as I continue to grow in intimacy with my Father, I know He will continue to unfold where He would have me go and what He would have me do, and I’m excited to continue this adventure with Him! Thanks to everyone who has supported me, prayed for me, and just been a part of this amazing journey this past year 🙂
