When did this refugee camp start to feel like home more than my actual home? When did I go from dreading my days here- fearful and stressed about when I’ll have to return-to craving the 6:45am shift?
I think it was the night God told me to look up. I climbed on top of the shipping container and saw more stars than ever before.
The Big Dipper, Orion’s Belt, the Milky Way.
They were all there in perfect formation, as if they’d taken their places before the sunset curtain unveiled their big performance for the night.
Today, I found myself so comfortable at the refugee site that I walked up the dark rocky hill to pee in the woods, in a onesie I borrowed to keep warm, while singing Sk8er Boi with my dear friend Kayla Z.
A few weeks ago, you could hardly get me to leave the food tent. It was the only place I felt productive- prepping bins of high energy bars, fruit, and water for the refugees. I got to be the site mom in a way- cooking in the kitchen, fetching anyone the things they needed from supply crates. More than anything, I felt safe.
On days when 1,000+ refugees would be passing through (some staying the night) at our little football field sized fenced “camp”, the tension in the air told me that as 15 volunteers, we could be overthrown at the drop of an apple.
One of the days with hundreds crammed between the shipping container and the chain linked fence, people were being pushed forward in line like a free hotdog stand at a football game. Families inside who had separated from loved ones stuck in line, would say things like, “please help my sister, she’s stuck in there with her baby, she’s suffocating.” I risked my safety and jumped in the crowd. Yelling, “move back, please move back!” “They can’t breathe in there!”
It took times like these- one’s with no control of my safety or the safety of the people around me- to find peace.
The reason this feels like home is that I’ve had a handful of defining moments where I could have been hurt by the mob of people I was trying to help.
Moments where God proved to be bigger than it all. He showed me how to have peace in these moments. Peace in my tone, peace in my smile, and peace in my demeanor, even when other’s are panicking.
With time, I began to see myself as a counselor in the food tent, listening to people’s lives and problems. I started being a source of laid back peace for them.
Father Xristoforos is a 36 year old chain smoking priest who acts as our site coordinator at the camp. He looks like Matt Damon with a long ponytail, a black priests hat, and a long black priests robe. He’s speaks 9 languages and is the furthest thing from basic.
At first, I thought this guy was so outlandish that it must all be a facade. But believe it or not, he turned out to be the most peaceful badass I’d ever met. I have a lot of respect for him and his story and appreciate that he was the one who taught me to have peace when everything’s going wrong. Not by telling me, but just by leading by example.
When everyone’s looking to you for answers, expecting to rub their anxiety off on you, surprise them with peace.
On the ropes course, we used to say in emergencies, take time to smoke a mental cigarette. It was a concept gained from a facilitator who would literally stop to smoke a cigarette when someone needed rescued.
Father Xristoforos also literally smokes a cigarette while processing and planning a solution. It’s a beautiful concept- to take some deep breaths before reacting to a stressful situation.
So, while Greece feels like home with my newfound peace, God will give me the stars in my next home in Macedonia, in Africa, and in Asia. My picture of “home” is ever changing, but as a wise man I encountered in a gyro shop said, “your home can come with you wherever you go.” I believe peace is that way too.
I write this to you from a cold shipping container, while the refugees sleep.
Tomorrow is our last peaceful shift here and then we’re off to the Balkans again for Month 3.
For, Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech. They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it. 1 Peter 3:10-11
