Almost like someone whose just given birth to a newborn baby, I find myself not wanting to post anything personal on Facebook or do anything to cheapen the intimacy of these moments.
Being home on O’ahu has been incredible. After an intense year of spiritual growth overseas, I’ve had two weeks home- where I’ve been blessed ABUNDANTLY. With a place to stay, a car to drive, and time to catch up with family and friends.
At one point, I had to decide if I wanted to take the rest I needed or spend time catching up with all my people. I chose people and I’m glad I did.
I got to see my friends baby who was born the week I left for the Race. I got to see friends who are now married. I got to mourn Barbara’s death and what it feels like without her here. I got to see my grandmas, aunties, and cousins. I got to see old family friends and various people from my childhood. I got to go through everything I own and sell more of it until I got down to 3 suitcases and a backpack.
Everything came full circle.
All ends were tied. Much needed closure happened and I feel overwhelmed with love.
God used my story and this mission trip to reach people back home in Honolulu in ways I didn’t even know about. From friends to strangers to my church’s worship team; the Spirit told me when to move. When to speak, when to listen, and when to share stories.
I am in a season of extreme gratitude. I wish I could bottle this feeling and save it forever.
I wish I could repay God for all the good He’s done in my life. I’m so thankful, I don’t even know how to express it. I keep thinking, I wish I could get God a present.
Something large and pristine, like a mountain. How would I even wrap that?
And you can’t really get someone something they made, so that wouldn’t work.
Literally, the only gift I can think of is my life, my time, and my praise.
I want my life to be an ongoing worship to God with all I do. With every decision I make, from what I put in my body to the words that come out of my mouth to what car I buy, I want a Kingdom mindset. I want my entire life to be a worship to Him.
It sounds like an over zealous goal, but it’s not to me, because I do believe we were beings that were created to worship. That the passion to adore and glorify something runs through our veins. And if we’re not worshipping our Creator, then we’re probably worshipping something else; ie. Crossfit, tv, success, money, food, power, or even nature.
None of these are bad things within themselves, but if worship is to glorify, then I’m going to do what it takes to make sure the only one I’m glorifying or idolizing is Jesus.
“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” Matthew 6:24
