My countdown currently says we have 99 days until launch.
I looked at that this morning, and instead of being excited, I went bat junk crazy and threw a tantrum at God.
I JUST WANT TO BE EXCITED. HOW CAN I DO THAT WHEN I’M NOT EVEN GOING TO TRAINING CAMP AT THIS POINT???????
See, I’m still [seemingly] impossibly far from even my first deadline. I have five weeks to raise $1,205, then after that I have six weeks to raise another $4,000.
But God just won’t ever let me throw a pity party for more than two seconds when it comes to the Race.
You know how when you were a kid, and you’d kick and scream and yell at your parents, and it was just infuriating when they stayed calm instead of getting worked up right back at you? Or maybe that was just me…whatever. Either way, God likes to do that to me.
So as soon as I got out the sentence “I’m not going to training camp,” he said, as simply as if I’d just claimed the sky wasn’t blue, “Of course you’re going.”
I wasn’t ready to give up though. “FINE. Send me to training camp and let me get all attached to my squadmates and then just watch me not get to launch with them, and I’ll be so depressed I won’t even want to go on a later route.”
That was too ridiculous of a statement for him to even dignify with an answer. But I knew nothing I was saying was true.
I’ve never once, from the day I got accepted, felt that it was even possible for me not to raise the money I needed. I’ve read stories of people having to defer their routes because they couldn’t raise enough, so right at the beginning I started praying for God to make me okay with that possibility, but I stopped pretty quick. I just had this weird, but real, conviction that that wasn’t the plan he had for me.
The harder it’s gotten to believe that he’s going to come through on this, the deeper that bizarre peace has settled into my heart. I don’t understand it, which is sort of annoying because it makes my mom think I’m not taking this seriously or that I don’t care whether I get to go or not. And sometimes I wonder if more people would donate if I acted more desperate or scared.
But that isn’t the game God is playing here.
I don’t get it; it’s okay if you don’t either. His way are higher than mine.
So, if you want to be part of this great mysterious plan God has to provide all of this money in this very small amount of time, please help me out with any amount you can give! I’m so grateful for all of you who have given so far and appreciate any help I can get!
-To give online, click the “Support Me” link below that bright green bar at the top of the screen and follow the directions from there.
-To give by check, make it out to Adventures in Missions, write “Linda Swier-July ’14” on the memo line, and mail it to
Adventures in Missions
PO Box 742570
Atlanta, GA 30374
