From the day God called me to the World Race almost 2 years ago, I had two major expectations:
1)I’d be falling in love with lots and lots of children, and
2)I’d be changing these kids’ lives in really big ways.
So I’d daydream about hugging orphans. I’d read other Racers’ blogs and be jealous of the kids they played with in the streets.
Of course God knew all along that my favorite kid in the whole world wouldn’t live in an orphanage or on the street, and she wouldn’t have special needs or abusive parents.
Meet Luciana.
She’s five years old. She goes to our church in Quito and she’s the funniest person I’ve ever met even though I only understand 10% of everything she says.
We became BFFs one day when I was teaching English class and her mom was in my group, and she (Lucy, not her mom)climbed up in my lap and snuggled with me for the rest of the hour. She has the most adorable little voice and never stops talking, she loves people and makes friends instantly with everyone she meets, and spends as much of her time as possible in somebody’s arms. I’m pretty sure she’s my 5 year old self with an Ecuadorian face.
So every day she’d come to English class with her parents, and she and her brother Estaban would play while class went on, and as soon as it was over she’d jump in my arms and start pointing to things, asking me what to call them in English.
I looked forward to loving on her more than I did any other part of my day. Of course this gave me a guilt gut because didn’t the kids at Camp Hope need me more than she did? Luciana has a perfect life and a wonderful family and plenty of people who love her. Spending time with her doesn’t even count as ministry.
God didn’t like these thoughts so he interrupted me. “Sometimes your idea of ‘big things’ isn’t the same as mine. Maybe the reason you’re so excited about this one child is because I brought you here for her.”
“But she doesn’t even need me! Isn’t that taking the easy way out?”
“Everyone you meet needs love, and just because something seems easy doesn’t mean it isn’t what I want you to do.”
So today was our last Sunday before we leave. After church we were playing and all of a sudden I start crying because I don’t want to ever leave. I want to live here and be part of this incredible church and teach my kids in Sunday school every week and watch this sweet little girl grow up and change the world. Luciana giggles and asks her mom, “Porque esta llorando?” (Why is she crying?) Her mom explained that I wouldn’t be there anymore after today.
Her ever-smiling face fell and she squealed, “No te vas!”(Don’t go!) She turned to her mom and asked why I had to leave. Her mom, who also loves me and wants me to stay, called her husband over to translate(he speaks a lot more English and I talk really fast) and asked me the same question. I told her I had to go to 8 more countries. Luciana asked(still in Spanish), “Don’t you like Ecuador?” I told her this is my favorite country in the world, but God wants me to do things for him in other places too. She looked deep in thought, then turned to her mom and started repeating her questions, as if she thought maybe her mom would say I didn’t have to leave. Her dad turned to me and said, “Thank you that you love her. She loves you very much.” God whispered “See?” and I started crying again; Luciana laughed and said, “No mas lloras!”(Don’t cry anymore!”)
When it was actually time for me to go, I hugged her and bawled and started walking away, and then she realized I really was leaving. She ran after me, screaming, “LEEEEENDAAAA! No vaya a Colombia! Puedes vivir conmigo!!!!”(Don’t go to Colombia! You can live with me!)
My team was going to our pastor’s house for lunch, so Luciana’s family drove me there so she wouldn’t have to leave me yet. When we got there I gave her one last hug and started to get out of the car. She followed me out the door, grabbed my hand, looked up with her big brown eyes and said “No te vas?” I said I had to. “No te vas!” I said I’d miss her and I’d still love her. “No te vas no te vas NO TE VAS!” Her dad finally had to pry her out of my arms and carry her back to the car. She waved goodbye, still with her big smile even through all her tears.
This little angel goes to the best church in the world and her family loves Jesus so much. She’s going to be an incredible person when she grows up.
I’m thankful that I got to be part of her life for a few weeks. I hope she remembers me in a year, because someday I’m coming to live here.
