A lot of people have been asking me about what kinds of things I’m scared of as I think about going on the Race.
Soon I’ll write a post with a list, but me and God had a talk about one in particular, and it deserves its own whole post. Also maybe some other people are just as concerned as I am about this and just haven’t said it yet, so if that’s the case, I’ll be the brave one and say it first. =)
I love food. It makes me happy. And I’m pretty brave about trying new things(as long as you don’t tell me what it is until after I’ve eaten it; once at a Chinese place I ate six frog legs thinking they were chicken wings before I thought to question the fishy aftertaste).
But, two slight issues…
1. I’m horrible at forcing myself to eat things I don’t like. It doesn’t matter much how hungry I am; I try, and after a couple bites I feel so sick I forget all about the hunger and just focus on trying not to gag.
2. I HATE rice. In every form, except for Rice Krispy treats. I’ve never made a list of my least favorite foods(I don’t spend much time thinking about things I don’t like), but if I did, rice would be in the top five. Maybe even the top three. And beans aren’t my favorite thing in the world either.
Going eleven months without ice cream is a really scary thought to me.
This is the least serious worry I could have, and probably makes me sound just a little bit five years old, but it’s there.
So, the other night, I was eating at Moe’s(do they have that all over the place? If it’s only in certain states and yours isn’t one, think a much better version of Taco Bell where you order the same way you do at Subway) and realized just how much that idea bothers me. See, every time, no matter how clearly I say “Just a little bit of rice,” they still always put more on my burrito than I want, so I always have to scrape some out before each bite. And I thought, “God, I haven’t thought much about this until now, but seriously…I don’t know what I’ll eat all over the world. You know how I get when I’m hungry.”
And I instantly thought of this verse.
“Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” Matthew 6:26
Somehow, God will take care of it. If he doesn’t miraculously exchange my taste buds and make me not notice what I’m eating, he’ll make two bites of rice fill my stomach as much as a cheeseburger would. Or, maybe it’ll be just as hard as I’m imagining, and God just really wants me to be able to empathize with the kids in Africa who eat mashed up ants for breakfast every day.
Whatever it is…it isn’t going to matter half as much as everything else I get to do. I’d rather love on orphans while feeling like I’m half starved, than work a normal American job and eat whatever I want every day.
I’m going to spend eleven months smack in the center of God’s will, pouring his love into all kinds of people, getting to know him better every day, watching him move everywhere I look.
Whenever I think about that, nothing else matters to me. I don’t care how physically hungry I might have to be; I’m going to be so spiritually full it’ll be like my heart is eating Thanksgiving dinner every day. =)
