You’ve picked your route. You’ve gone through all the scary interviews.
You’ve gotten that call.
YOU’RE GOING ON THE WORLD RACE!
You may have hung up the phone and screamed while running laps around your apartment thanking God that it’s really happening.
Or maybe that was just me.
You were probably too excited to think for a few days or weeks or even months.
But at some point, it hits you. Maybe it was the first time you sat down to start fundraising. Maybe it was when you got an invitation to a wedding that’s happening two weeks after you launch. Maybe it was when your little brother asked you “What about Christmas?”
No matter what sparks it, you will eventually have a moment where you realize, This is about to be so much harder than I thought it would be.
You’ll think about it a little more, remind yourself you signed up to make sacrifices and God will take care of you and everything will be fine. You get excited again.
Then it happens again. Another wedding invitation comes, or your first fundraising event gets you $50 instead of $500, or you’re offered a promotion at work which you can’t take because you’re quitting in two months.
And you’ll think, God, I’m REALLY not sure I can do this.
God will say, Of course you can’t, but I can. And I’m bringing you along to watch.
You’ll get excited again and skip off to REI to buy all your gear.
And I’m not yet convinced that Stage 3 is universal, so I’ll just tell you that 11 days before my training camp, one of my squadmates died in a car wreck, and five days later one of my friends from college committed suicide.
That’s when I said, God, this is impossible and I don’t want to go anymore. And God said, I know.
Dear, dear future Racer, it’s okay.
Being scared to go doesn’t mean you aren’t trusting God enough.
Being sad to leave doesn’t mean you aren’t grateful for the adventure God is sending you on.
God knows. He sees your heart. He knows that you want to love on the nations, but he also knows you love your family and friends. He knows that eleven months is a long time to us poor little humans who are bound by time.
You’re right in thinking this will be so hard. Because it will be.
But I promise, you will eventually come to say this is so worth it. Because it is.
You may not say it until halfway through month six(or maybe that was just me), but you will say it.
It. Is. SO. worth it.
For every blessing you’re leaving behind at home, I hope God gives you two around the world.
And as many times as you think, I don’t want to go, I hope that once you’re out here, you’ll end up saying I don’t want to leave.
For now though, it’s okay. If right at this moment, you just don’t want to go, it’s okay. I promise that moment won’t last forever. But it lasts longer if you feel bad about it, so while it lasts, talk about it. Talk to God. Talk to your squad. Heck, talk to me!
Because it’s okay.
