Writing is like breathing. When I go a long time without it, my life feels like it’s being held underwater, and then when I start writing again it’s like my head has popped up and I’m finally getting air, and I wonder why I don’t come up more often.
I’ve been underwater for most of this month. We’re about to go to Cambodia, which I’ve been waiting for since 2 months before the July 2014 routes were even announced, so I don’t want to spend the first week of that month catching up on Thailand posts…so, I’m giving up before I start trying. Here’s a summary of what I would have written about at much more length if I’d had more energy and we’d had internet more often.
“What God actually didn’t take”
I’d been excited for Thailand for one reason only: ministry in the red light district. When we found out two days before Christmas that we’d actually be doing manual labor all month, the rest of my team was cheering while I was trying to hide how bad I wanted to scream. Jess looks at me and says “Okay Linda, what’s wrong? You look like somebody kicked your puppy.” I told them I was feeling bratty and temporarily throwing a tantrum because God took away my original hopes for this month, but would be okay after I pouted a bit. They let me be until that night at team time.
Lizzie told me that my attitude about my disappointment wasn’t right, because God can’t take away something he never gave, so if I go into this month with the mindset that that’s what he did, I’ll miss what he actually has for me. It was one of the hardest pieces of feedback I’ve ever received, but it was also the number one best.
Because God did surprise me.
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“The room of requirement”
Even as we rode into Thailand, I had the feeling it was going to be one of my favorite places. And every minute of the first few days was so full of little gifts from God that it felt like he was giving me every little thing I wanted, whether I realized I wanted it or not. On our second day here I counted and he gave me 21 of my favorite things. First of many life-changing truth bombs of the month: God WANTS to give us good things, beyond our basic needs, just because he loves us. And we’d see them a lot more if only we’d ask for them and look for them. Literally, seek and you will find.
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“The brother that sticks closer than a friend”
I’d prepared myself through the year before I launched for each holiday that I’d miss the next year. But until I woke up on January 7th and wrote the date in my journal, it had never crossed my mind how sad it would be to not be with my brother on his birthday. It hadn’t hit me that in his whole life I’ve never not seen him on his birthday. I mean, on the day he was born I saw him on TV, not in person, but besides that.
Scott is my best friend, possibly my favorite human. He’s the coolest person I’ve ever met. I’ve literally never met a person who doesn’t like him. He got more famous at CIU in his first week at school than I did in my entire time as a student. He loves people and he LOVES to talk. He and I can spend eight hours in a car together, talk the entire time, then when we get where we’re going and the rest of our family is tired and cranky, we still have things to talk about. In Ecuador I Skyped with him for four hours and could have stayed up all night if we hadn’t been about to travel the next morning. He’s the only person I know who’s more extroverted than I am. He’s so smart that it’s almost unfair for him to also be as funny as he is. He’s the only person I’ll believe when they say I’m beautiful. He’s impossibly generous. He also runs really fast; I did cross country to make friends, he did it because he actually likes to run. He loves Jesus and planned his own trip to Uganda last summer in like three weeks and went all by himself.
I’m the proudest and most blessed big sister in the world. I’m jealous of all his friends because they get to see him every day, and I haven’t seen him since June 14th(because he ran off to Africa before I left for the Race). I miss him even on the best days when I’m refusing to believe the Race will end. He’s pretty neat.
I accidentally wrote everything I would have written about him if I’d put it in a whole post. Oh well. He deserved it.
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And that’s my month. I’m literally about to get on a bus right now so I have to cut this short.
