I have absolutely no patience when it comes to anything related to time. I’m good at being patient with difficult people, but I go crazy anytime I have to wait for something. I want everything to happen right away, and I want to get everything done right away.
Whether it’s a good thing, like when someone tells me they have a surprise for me in two weeks(please don’t ever do that to me; surprises are my favorite things in the world but waiting ruins them for me, haha), or a not-so-good thing, like an exam, I cannot relax until the thing happens.
And if I have something big to get done, I want it all done all at once; this is half the reason I hated school so much, because I’d get a syllabus on the first day and panic for the next week about how to finish everything as soon as possible.
So of course, when I have less than a year to raise $16,000, I’m strung out of my mind. I check my account at least three times a day, waiting for the money to be there.
Last night I was waiting for some water to boil, and since it was midnight and no one was awake to talk to, I just paced around the kitchen watching for it to be done. I remembered how they say a watched pot never boils, so I grabbed my tablet to check my account again while I waited.
As soon as I had it in my hands, it hit me that I’m doing the same thing with my fundraising that most people do with boiling water.
I’m not saying that God is refusing to provide for me just because I keep watching to see when he’ll do it. But I do know that I’ve been doing too much waiting and not enough trusting.
Surprisingly, I haven’t gotten frustrated with God about how slowly the money is coming in; just with the many people I’ve asked. But I also haven’t asked God to provide even half as many times as I’ve asked my Facebook friends.
I’ve spent so much time complaining to him about how people aren’t giving, I’ve completely skipped over the part where I ask HIM to give it to me. It’s like the power in my house is out and I’m yelling at the light switch instead of asking the electric company to fix it.
So I’m taking a week off of watching the pot, and praying for God to make it boil.
For the next seven days, I’m not going to look at my account balance. Instead, every time I get the urge to know how much is in there, I’m going to pray.
This isn’t my Race; it’s God’s. And he’s going to take care of it however he chooses. He may not do it as fast as I want him to, but he WILL do it, because he called me to it. He doesn’t have to go along with all my bargaining; just because I’m asking him to do something while I’m not looking doesn’t necessarily mean he’ll do it yet. When I turn around and look next Thursday, there may not even be a single dollar more in my account. But hopefully by then, I will have spent enough time praying that it won’t bother me. I have peace about it in my heart, it just needs to sync up with my head, because I really need to calm down. =p
Please join me in prayer this week! If you think of me, ask God to give me his peace that passes all understanding, and to help me trust that he can provide in a radical way!
AND if you’d like to help me out, click the “SUPPORT ME” link on the left and follow the directions! Thank you so much to everyone who’s already given, you are a blessing to me and you’re helping send God’s love to so many people who need it!
