Hello I’m writing this from my hot room in Chiang Mai, Thailand. Lots has changed since my last blog. Oops. If you can’t tell I’ve gotten super relaxed in my writing style since my first blog. It’s probably because I’ve been out of school too long and I’ve forgotten how to write well. I’m gonna take it as I’ve just gotten way more comfortable with who I am and care less what people think. You decide for yourself.
Anyways, you may be asking, “wait when did you leave South Africa?” Great question. I’m so glad you asked. So to recap: I lived in Jeffreys Bay, South Africa from December to the beginning of March. I had the best time. I discovered that I am destined to become a pro surfer and my love for the beach is even stronger than I originally thought (I think laying in the sand is my love language). I probably can’t convey in words what my time there was like. Maybe this picture will give you some sort of an idea.
This is me and my friends on our back porch watching the sun go down and singing songs on one of our last days in town. For me, it encapsulates what most of South Africa was like. Sunny and filled with community. I lived in that log house with two other girl teams and we became like a family. I like to refer to our house there as the sorority house; all girls-all the time. I also got to be a part of an amazing community within Jbay called Global, which felt like another incredible family. And to add to that, I went to Victory Church and met tons of great people. Jeffreys Bay just became home to me. I never thought I would feel that halfway across the world but I really did. You know when people go on trips and they say something like “I left my heart in _____” and you are like yeah okay lets not be dramatic you were there a week. Well as cheesy as that is, thats exactly how I felt. When I got on the bus to leave I felt like someone had taken a part of my heart and buried in the field behind our house. One of my teammates described it as feeling like we were going through a tough breakup. I know this all sounds so dramatic but its really how.
I’ve wanted to go to South Africa since middle school and I never knew why, but now I see what God was doing. He wanted me to choose the route with South Africa because he loves me, and wanted to bless and grow me there. I didn’t feel like I deserved to be so happy there. I thought, the race is supposed to be hard so why am I so happy? But then I remembered how it’s okay to love where you are. To love your friends. To love your ministry. It’;s okay because God loves me and I shouldn’t be scared to feel the weight of his blessings. He wants us to be happy!
So yeah. My time in South Africa was so incredible and leaving was pretty heartbreaking. But even in my sadness I knew it was time to go. I spent time with the Lord asking what he wanted me to grow in in Thailand and I felt like he was saying attitude. I knew what that meant. Thailand wasn’t going to be like South Africa. Dang it. I was going to have to learn how to choose to have a good attitude when everything in my flesh says otherwise. So now you are all caught up. Ive been in Thailand for over 3 weeks now and I’m still not completely over leaving Jbay. See, its just like a breakup. It takes time to let your friends and memories go. Thats why I titled this blog kinda sad. Its not like I’m devastated or anything, I’m just still, ya know, kinda sad. Again, I can’t fully explain everything I did there or what daily life was like in one short blog, but maybe when I get home we can sit down and I can tell you all the stories 🙂 Thailand has definitely been a challenge. Its hot, my days feel long, staying present is becoming so hard, and I am just not a city girl. But in all of this, God is good, and he is growing me. I am thankful for the discomfort because its teaching me how to rely on the Lord for true joy. It was time to leave South Africa and move on to a new challenge. So yay for new faces and new beginnings! I think thats all. Oh I also got to see my parents right before coming to Thailand which was just the most fun thing ever. They came to South Africa for a week and got a little taste of what the race is like. Love you Mom and Dad. Comment if you think they should write a blog about their experiences cause I think they should. Okay now I think thats it. Peace.
